Something Like Rehab
by HorcruxCharisma
Summary: "Absolutely not." Darcy had no hint of remorse in her decision. There was no way on Earth—or Asgard, for that matter—she would play hotel for the God of Mischief and Lies. There was also no possible way Jane Foster, herself, had just asked this absurd question: "Would you mind it if Loki stayed here temporarily while he's . . . recovering?"
1. Chinese Food & a Deal

A/N: **hey guys! so this is sort of like a collection of drabbles, all leading up to one specific ending. **

**Jane and Thor, i do love. I see in a lot of Darcy / Loki fanfics, Jane & Thor are dissed quite a lot. well, i don't know about you guys - but i loved both their characters. especially Thor. you know . . . "I like it! Another!" ;D so, they will be in his casually. just a heads up. **

**these drabbles won't be at _complete_ random either. so it's sort of an on going story, but sort of not. if that makes any sense at all. XP but anyway! i really do hope you guys enjoy this:) **

**it's all dedicated to a friend, Erika :D our conversation about Thor really did spark the inspiration to post this up officially. it was sunny outside, however, it was thundering like crazy. her reason for this: "THOR'S HERE!" lol. **

**i obviously do not own these people, people. lol. thanks. **

* * *

"No."

Jane's expression fell, "Oh, come on, Darcy! Please?"

"Absolutely not." Darcy had no hint of remorse in her decision. There was no way on Earth—or Asgard, for that matter—she would play hotel for the God of Mischief and Lies. There was also no possible way Jane Foster, herself, had just asked this absurd question: "Would you mind it if Loki stayed here _temporarily_ while he's . . . recovering?"

Darcy Lewis had thought this Friday night would be like any other in her crazy—yet amazingly average—life. She would sit in her small, average one bedroom apartment with some tasty fattening ice cream and cozy socks while watching her favorite TV series she had recorded over the week. Yes, that's what she was dying for. A casual sitting without the news channels making everyone go insane over the similar-to-an-alien-apocalypse fiasco that had went down only two months ago. Things were finally starting to fall back into place.

Until, that is, Jane decided to show up with Chinese take-out and a huge smile plastered across her face. Yes. That only meant one thing: nothing good.

Darcy folded her arms across her chest, looking at Jane with raised brows as she leaned a hip against her kitchen counter. "You want me to babysit _Loki_? Loki as in the one that could have killed us all? Yes, because I totally get paid enough for that."

Jane had made her way in and continued on preparing separate plates for them, piling them with delicious smelling Chinese food. In the tone of her voice, Jane could tell Darcy hadn't hit a note higher or lower, but sat the same—so there was hope in that, right? "Darcy, could you at least think about it? He isn't _so_ bad anymore. He's been living with us, I think I would know." Jane attempted a smile, but Darcy just stood there with a flat expression. "It wouldn't be for forever. Just until everyone has decided it's safe to let him be on his own."

Darcy watched Jane take their plates and make her way to the small living area where the TV played _Supernatural_ re-runs. She followed after, continuing on, "Why can't he just zoom back to Asgard or whatever?"

Jane sat down and patted the seat next to her, gently saying, "Thor doesn't think that's such a wise idea." She paused. "Yet." Darcy took a seat and stuffed the steamed rice into her mouth, not allowing herself to budge in favor for this ridiculous request. "If Loki goes back now, he might get killed by Odin during his punishment for what he's done here. Thor believes his brother is really capable of change . . . and I think he might be too."

Darcy swallowed the small laugh that threatened to sound. Jane didn't feel that way _completely_, Darcy knew. Jane wanted to have hope in what Thor believed, because Thor had too much. He was desperate to see his brother on a happier note, living a happier life. It was scribbled all over his Thunder God face.

"I mean, Loki hasn't done anything unforgivable while staying at my place." Jane said, forking around her food slowly. "Thor wants Loki to stay here for a while. Get on a straighter path, you know?"

"So," Darcy gave her a skeptical look. "Why can't he stay with _you_ anymore? Obviously there's something going on. Why else would you want to stash him here?"

Jane grew quiet a moment. "Things are getting tense between them. The brothers, I mean." She looked at Darcy with pleading eyes. "I can tell, Darcy. Loki sometimes glares at Thor. And other times it looks like Thor's about to—"

"Hammer him into next Tuesday?" Darcy joked.

Jane gaped, "It isn't funny! It gets nerve racking! Especially with only one woman there to interfere if something _does_ happen. You know Thor . . ."

Darcy nodded with a humorous grin. "I do."

"He can be a bit dense sometimes." Jane said, almost a whisper. "And I think Loki gets a little pissed when he has to explain some things over and over and over again."

"Like we haven't all been there." Darcy rolled her eyes slightly and Jane couldn't help but crack a grin.

"I love Thor, so it's different for me. It's Loki I'm worried about. There are only so many people that push him to complete insanity. One happens to start with a 'T' and ends with an 'R'."

"_Really_? Could have fooled me there."

Jane gave Darcy a look and continued, "But if they didn't have to see each other every second of the day—maybe _both_ could recover in a healthier way."

Darcy ate her tasty food and thought about things while starring intently on the nice looking guys on screen. So, it wasn't like she'd have to sit around playing stupid board games with the guy, right? He'd just stay here, sleep on the couch and eat her food. Hell, he could even help out with rent every so often. Like eleven months out of the year, maybe? Darcy unconsciously nodded to herself, a considering look across her face. She didn't even see the expression across Jane's face while she watched Darcy, praying inwardly for a positive answer.

Then again, Darcy knew this was slightly dangerous. Loki wasn't human, wasn't natural. He was from a completely different part of the universe and also had a bad reputation. Darcy didn't mind naughty boys—but this was completely different. _Psychopath_-naughty wasn't exactly what she was going for. No matter if the guy was semi-related to her friend's boyfriend.

"I still have school, you know." Darcy added in between bites of her steamed rice. It was her last year, and she had made sure to keep her priorities straight so graduation would come easier. After all, she only had seven more months to go and it was over. She was done. Where had the time gone? It felt like graduating high school all over again. Except with less nausea.

Jane nodded quickly, "Loki's smart! He could help."

Darcy sighed, "And my parents? They give me a good 'check in' call every few days or so. What happens when they discover I'm housing the man that wanted to take over Earth?"

"He's a god of _lies_, Darce." Jane gave a small laugh, "Ergo—they won't find out."

Darcy lifted a brow. "I never took you for a big liar, Mrs. Thunder."

Jane shrugged a shoulder, "I've never been friends with the government, but it's one thing we have in common."

Laughing, Darcy decided to let that one go. Then something else popped in her head. "What about dating?"

Jane had looked back at the TV, but glanced over at Darcy when she spoke. "What about it . . . ?"

"Uh, hello? I'll have some god living in my apartment for only Heaven knows how long. What happens if I get a boyfriend? It's going to look awfully strange when I take him home for some wrestling in the bedroom when another _guy_ is eating the leftovers in the fridge! And believe me—there's this really hot nerd in my Psychology class. I was considering it."

Jane laughed and looked disbelievingly down at her food. "You're impossible!" She said, smiling. "You don't have to worry about that. Thor was actually looking around to see if any women were available at S.H.I.E.L.D.. So there's a chance Loki wouldn't be home often anyway."

Darcy tried to contain it, but the laugh boomed through her tightly closed lips. "Loki and a _S.H.I.E.L.D._ agent? Are you _trying_ to set him up for disaster?"

"Oh, come on! It wasn't _that_ bad of an idea . . ."

Darcy stopped laughing. "Was it Thor's idea?"

Jane averted her eyes. "Yes."

"Then it was a bad idea."

"Shut up!" Jane nudged Darcy slightly. "I happen to think it was a sweet idea! Thor cares a lot for Loki."

"And you also probably like the way Thor hammers _you_ into next Tuesday." Darcy rolled her eyes and Jane grew a flushed, uncomfortable expression. "Besides the point, right? Okay. Whatever. I'll babysit the damn god of mischief and lies for you. But I want something in return."

Jane lifted a brow. "Why do I have the feeling this is going to be bad?"

"Because it is." Darcy grinned as Jane swallowed a lump in her throat, waiting to hear the worst. "I want a dinner night, next Friday."

Jane smiled brightly, "That isn't so bad—"

"I wasn't finished." Darcy said and stopped forking around her rice, catching Jane's eyes with her own. "I want a dinner night . . . and I want Thor to be the waiter—" Darcy stopped a moment, adding more suspense to the thick air, "—a waiter that only wears an apron and knee socks."

Jane's jaw hit the floor almost instantly. "_What_?"

"You heard me." Darcy sat back, looking as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "That or it's a no-go."

"What . . . this . . . _why_? Why would you want to see something like that?"

"It's not Thor I want to see." Darcy said, snickering. "It's you. When you're uncomfortable, even depressed people laugh at you. It's something with your face. I'm not sure, it just makes everything better! Plus, it's kind of like payback for playing the guilt trip with Chinese food."

Jane glared slightly, "Gee, thanks." After a moment, she sighed. If this was the only way to get Loki out of her place—then she had no choice. "Fine. It's a deal."

Darcy grinned, satisfied. "I've always kind of wanted a roommate."


	2. Desserts & Raw Men

A/N:** okay, my hand offically hates me. i think i nearly killed it while typing this. lol. but, whatever. it'll heal and my lovely, lovely reviewers will get more chapters :) i was so happy with the feedback i got on this! i really do hope i won't dissapoint. lol. you guys are amazing. utterly fantastic. **

**a quick word: i have decided this story takes place around the last week in November. the only reason i did this is because while jamming out in the shower to weird music, i had all these random ideas for this story that go along with the time frame. so, it's set at the end of November and it'll go on from there.**

songs played while writing this (_they don't really make sense, just fyi_)**: ****"Believe" by Armchair Cynics ; "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit **

**and as you all know, i do not own these characters.**

* * *

**Desserts & Raw Men**

* * *

Darcy was dismissed from her afternoon class and dumped her textbook/essay overloaded school bag in the backseat of her crappy car. With a sigh, she hopped in the front seat and buckled in, sliding out her cell to check the time. "I guess there's some time to get things done." She thought aloud, reading '1:30 PM' across the screen.

With money she had scraped up that didn't go in the 'savings jar', Darcy decided to get a few new pairs of jeans and some shirts. It wasn't like her closet was completely empty, but a girl could reward herself every so often. Plus, there was the dinner with Jane and Thor coming up soon. She didn't count that as a big event to dress up fancy for—but if Thor could dress out of occasion, so could she. That caused a smirk to break out across the Lewis girl's face.

Darcy helped herself to a delicious razzleberry tea and wondered into a expensive looking store with cute shoes and skinny-ass mannequins. While browsing, biting on her straw with different expressions according to prices on the shoes, the cell in her back pocket began to ring.

The woman at the checkout counter shot a glare in Darcy's direction when the phone began to sing a hard rock cover to a song about alien sex and bars on the moon, booming through the quiet store as if someone was running Freddy Krueger's claws against a chalkboard.

Darcy hurried to answer the device and squirm from the under the evil, hard-faced checkout lady's gaze. "Hello?" Darcy said in almost a whisper, glancing back to see if she was still being watched. To her dismay, she was. Nothing a quick finger couldn't fix.

The woman's jaw dropped slightly at the sight and turned away to help an elderly woman with her things.

_Yeah_, Darcy thought, _that's what I thought_.

"Did you get anything I just said?" asked Jane through the phone.

Darcy was snapped back into reality and away from her small victory party in her head. "What? Oh, yeah. Totally." She lied. "Is that all?"

Jane was quiet a moment. "Yeah that's pretty much all—"

The line suddenly became full of static and Darcy could only hear strange movements. She waited, a bit confused. There were more movements—a few crashes and sharp noises—and someone finally began to talk again. "Darcy?"

Darcy arched a brow, "Uh, Thor?"

"Darcy!" He said cheerfully, "How have you been?"

"I've been good, thanks. I take it you're doing pretty well. " She responded in a slow voice. "What was with all the noise? Did you just totally slaughter Jane during our phone call?"

Thor made a face across the line, looking over at Jane washing some flour out of her hair. He turned his attention back to Darcy. "No. Not at the moment." His mood changed like a switch. "I never got to thank you for agreeing to help with Loki!"

Darcy moved some shirts on a rack, "Oh, no problem, really. Jane and I made a deal that made it worth while."

"Oh, yes!" Thor nodded with a smile. "That would be the cause for all the noise a moment ago. Jane was teaching me to cook some things and it seems I have gotten a little too much cooking oil on my hands and that isn't good for getting anything with a strong grip. Everything ends up on the floor." He chuckled, low and firm. "She has told me I am to be prepared for anything, so we made roast chicken and these strange mounds of bread in pink holders—cupbreads or something . . ."

"Cupcakes?" Darcy said in a tone that came second nature to everyone around.

"Ah, yes! Those!" Thor laughed and continued, "Anyway, since I am becoming fairly skilled in the kitchen, I also wanted to ask if there was anything specific you would like at dinner next Friday!"

Darcy could practically hear the wide smile on Thor's face, making her almost feel bad for the request that popped in her head then. "Actually, Thor," She said with a grin, glancing over at a naked male mannequin on display. "There is something I think would be just awesome!"

"Anything! I'm sure I could make it happen."

"Banana splits."

Thor quirked a brow at this. Jane looked over at him then, a bit worried. "I am afraid I have no idea what those are, Darcy."

"Oh, no," Jane tried to grab the phone, but Thor turned away and kept it glued to his ear.

Darcy continued on her browsing, talking calmly to the confused Asgardian. "A banana split is a dessert."

"Oh, desserts! I like desserts!" Thor was on board again for this idea and asked, "So I just split bananas in half and they are ready to eat?"

Darcy chuckled, "Well, they aren't just bananas. Is the phone on speaker?"

Thor thought a moment, "Uh, yes, this phone does have speakers."

"No, I mean—just tell Jane to put it on speaker." Darcy said, keeping her patience as best as she could.

There was silence on the line as Thor handed the phone to Jane. A beep sounded and Thor's voice came through as if he were farther away, "Okay, the device has been speaker-activated, Darcy!"

"Banana splits, Thor, have ice cream with them too." Darcy could see Jane in the back of her head, looking down at her feet or trying to distract herself with something other than listening to what Darcy was saying. "The ice cream could be any flavor, really."

"Ice cream is good, yes." Thor nodded, taking a mental note of her information.

Jane stood across from him, watching how he looked greatly focused on what her convincing friend had to say. Technically, Thor had put himself out there on this one. Jane knew it was too good of an opportunity not to grab. Especially considering the circumstances that were involved with this deal. But that didn't mean she couldn't be the slightest bit pissed about it.

"Add some whipped cream," Darcy said in a voice she knew would get Jane's mind going. "Whatever kind of syrup you want—chocolate, strawberry, caramel. Then you top it with a cherry!"

"That is all?" Thor sounded oddly impressed. "Delicious sounding _and_ simple."

Darcy smiled to herself, "Exactly! Whatya say, Jane? You good with some banana splits?"

Jane's cheeks had gotten slightly more red than before, Thor had noticed. He held the phone out so she could speak into it too. Jane rolled her eyes, "Sounds _great." _

"I knew you'd like the idea." Darcy said, laughing lightly under her breath before she took a sip of her tea.

Jane took the phone from Thor's hand and motioned for him to get started on the macaroni. She glided discretely into their bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed with the door cracked shut. "Real clever, Darcy." She said in a sharp whisper.

"I thought so. I mean, it only works perfectly with the theme." Darcy said casually. "Does he know what he'll be rockin' it out in?"

"No," Jane bit her lip, "No, he doesn't."

"I could tell him—"

"_No_! I'll just see you Friday."

Jane hung up and Darcy decided this dinner was something strangely good to look forward too.

* * *

Darcy opened her front door to an unusual sight. She had been juggling the few shopping bags she had, her car keys and her cell phone—all of which dropped when Loki looked up at her from his magazine while sitting on her couch.

Loki's attention went back to the magazine in his hands when she failed to move another inch. "Apparently, many of your kind that have a great fortune take a strong liking to participating in these things they call 'sex tapes'. Odd, really."

Darcy was tempted to walk back through the door, close it, reopen it, and see if she was dreaming. Though, she highly doubted it. The fact Loki was sitting on her couch, talking to her in a low exotic voice, wearing typical dark clothes—didn't bother her at all. What Darcy found quite strange was the first thing he ever talked about _directly_ to her . . . were celebrity sex tapes.

"Uh, yeah, they do. I mean, they have loads of money so they can practically buy off anything. Even if that anything is a couple cameras, a penis and a va-j-j." Darcy had felt a little awkward just standing there with her belongings on the floor at her feet. She picked up some bags, cellphone and keys up quickly then scurried into the kitchen. "But, you know, that's only because they get bored pretty easily."

Loki glanced up at her across the apartment's small frame. The kitchen was put together across the sitting area Loki found anything but preferable, but quaint in any case. He watched her shift her weight from one heel to the next, extremely uncomfortable and taken back by his presence. He was used to this.

Loki spoke through the silence like a chill running up someone's naked spine. "What is a 'va-j-j'?" He asked, only half curious. Midgardians always had the strangest ways for putting things. "Jane uses this term often when she politely informs me not to wonder into any part of the back side of the house because . . . well . . . something to do with her 'va-j-j' and other things that are a mental blur due to the fact I am not at wish to discuss much with her. I do, however, know it has to do with my brother."

Darcy was standing behind her counter, hands playing with anything that was laying around to keep her fidgeting at a minimum. She stopped a second at Loki's blunt confession and turned her head to the side lightly, breaking into a laugh. Loki didn't look so amused. He stared and Darcy mentally slapped herself back into seriousness. "Uh, well, it's the equivalent to a male's reproduction equipment." She knew she had sounded like a complete idiot, but there wasn't much she could expect when having a conversation with Loki. He sounded like a total genius.

A quiet fell over the two once more as Loki looked down to read another page to himself. Darcy couldn't help but scan him over. She had noticed something a bit different the moment she walked in. He looked somewhat like Loki. He had gotten a haircut, his hair not as 'fergalicious' in the back any longer. His eyes—a dark green that still seemed to shine—were shielded over by lush, dark lashes. Darcy assumed there must have at least been one or two Asgard women that had their alien-panties in a tizzy at the sight of him. Him and his killer concentrated face he made while reading. His eyebrows furrowed down as if he were angry, but really only thinking over multiple things at once.

Darcy titled her head to the side a bit, getting a different angle on things. On Loki. He looked more human somehow, like a sophisticated man with a fun-raiser-throwing wife back home and an office with a high tech laptop and tons of books. Darcy could picture him standing, chatting on the phone with a hand in his pocket, looking out through one of his ginormous floor-to-ceiling windows and a smile on his face while he chuckled at something one of his business colleagues said. In the background, of course, would be a fabulous living area with rectangular square couches, a fireplace going, exotic green plants outside and equally white floors leading up to high ceilings. He'd be that rich guy that was a total nerd in high school, but got it all in the end.

Loki's eyes darted up abruptly, catching Darcy in her imagination spree. "You've been looking at me for more than two minutes now. That doesn't usually happen with me."

Darcy averted her eyes away faster than she ever had before and opened her fridge for a water. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare." She mumbled and took a gulp. Her throat had gone amazingly dry in a very little time spand.

"I should apologize as well." Loki said, almost more blandly that he expected.

Darcy remembered to swallow the water in her mouth before she spoke. "For what?" She wiped her damp lips with her hoodie sleeve.

Loki closed the magazine and made his way over to a few of the bags Darcy hadn't bothered to pick up and move. "Didn't you need help with these?" He asked, taking one in his hand.

"Oh, I . . ." Darcy found she couldn't quite grasp what he was saying all at once. "No, it's fine. It's just clothes and stuff." She tucked some hair behind her ear and looked down at the clock on her phone.

"It's six o' clock," Loki announced as he examined a bag on the counter. "Dinner time, if I'm not mistaken."

"Six already?" Darcy nearly groaned. She hadn't realized she shopped that long. Considering she had gone just about all over town, stopped for lunch with some friends from class, and then decided on looking at possibly getting a future pet. Though, she didn't know what yet, but every sad looking puppy called out to her and she wasn't even very fond of dogs. Regardless. The sun was practically gone.

Loki reached in a bag and hooked his finger around something lacy. He brought it up and held the piece of cloth in front of his face, studying it. Darcy held back a sharp shriek and stuffed her newly bought undergarments back in the paper bag. Loki simply lifted his brows but failed to argue. "You don't have much to eat here." He said.

"You raided my pantry already? How long have you been here?" Darcy questioned.

"About two hours." Loki answered.

"_Two hours_? Didn't anybody think to inform me—" Darcy stopped. _That's what Jane must have been saying when I gave that lady the finger_, she thought. _Great_. "Nevermind." She shook her head and opened the door to her small pantry. "Okay, how about some Ramen for dinner tonight? I know it's not five-star or anything, but, hey, it's good."

"I do not eat raw men." Loki said, giving Darcy's back a strange look.

Darcy turned around, "What?"

"I," He repeated, "Do not eat raw men. If I'm correct, that is cannibalism. I read an article about several serial killers from this realm that practiced this type of fulfilling hunger. One went by the name of Jeffrey Dahmer and—"

"Oh, hell." Darcy rubbed her forehead. At least he was doing his research. "No, no, not raw men. I do not eat raw men. I eat _Ramen—_as in one word. Not two. R-A-M-E-N. It's noodles, you know, like soup?"

Loki was quiet a moment and glanced down at the small item in Darcy's hand. "Soup comes in plastic bags?" He asked with a brow raised skeptically.

"You know what," Darcy put on a tight smile. "How about you go sit over there on the couch, turn on the TV and I'll make us the dinner. Sound good?" Before Loki could answer, Darcy gave a thumbs up, "Great!" She walked quickly from around the corner and began shoving Loki in the living room's direction. Darcy figured he was walking along with the motion because he seemed like he would be a lot more difficult to move otherwise. The man was practically a giant. Only appearing to be slightly shorter than Thor.

Loki was planted on the couch by a bossy Darcy, who placed a remote in his hand then made her way back into the kitchen. He watched her begin to prepare for her cooking and then powered the 'box of many pictures', as Thor put it. Loki, however, wasn't as amused by this as his brother. He grew bored rather quickly.

Thankfully, Darcy's soup-in-a-bag was finished. She walked over with two bowls of steaming food and took a seat next to Loki, placing their bowls on the small coffee table then. "See? Soup. No raw men included."

Loki looked down into his bowl and reached out for it, only to have his hands slapped away by Darcy.

"Are you crazy? It's steaming hot right now! If you touch it now, you could burn your hands or whatever."

Darcy watched as Loki gave her another odd look and took his bowl in his hands, taking the fork and stuffing plenty in his mouth with a certain elegance Darcy couldn't ignore. Her lips parted in confusion—but awe at the same time. "How did you—?" She looked down into her own bowl, rolling her eyes. "Oh, whatever. So," She turned to Loki, who sat watching a show on plastic surgery. "We have two choices."

"Choices?" Loki questioned as Darcy took hold of the remote.

"_The Notebook _or _Halloween_?" She asked and he looked at her blankly. "They're movies. Pretty popular ones too. We either watch a movie about two kids that are madly in love and go through all this shit but then grow old together—_or_ a movie about this dude that, like, kills his entire family as a kid and is on the hunt for his sister and wears a mask all the time." Darcy ate some of her warm Ramen and added, "I'm leaving this decision totally up to you. You're the guest."

Loki had only watched one movie with Thor and Jane during his stay. The movie was about some ship with hundreds of people that went off and got itself torn in half and everyone died except one orange haired woman. Loki believed this to be highly unrealistic on the woman's behalf and depressing, but oddly enough brought Jane into a mess of tears.

"Do people cry because of this . . . notebook movie?" He asked.

Darcy nodded. "Oh, yeah. Big time. I mean, I cried for about five seconds the first time I saw it. That was only because it was the time of the month and I happened to have a crap load of chocolate with me."

Loki had stopped listening after 'big time'. "I choose _Halloween—_whatever that is_._"

Darcy smirked, "It's a holiday. People dress up as anything they want and little kids go around peoples' houses in their costumes to ask for candy." Loki looked a little questioning about the topic, but she continued while flipping through the TV guide on screen to find the channel supposedly showing _Halloween_ at seven. "Oh, but let me tell you—parties on Halloween night are to die for. This past Halloween, I was a sexy zombie. It was amazing. You probably don't remember Jane dressing up as the slutty version of Little Red Riding Hood."

"Would that explain why my brother was clothed in a revealing wolf costume?" Loki gave her a look that almost begged for her to prove him wrong. He hadn't got much of the sight before the couple left him alone in the house to have some party night at a club, also accompanied by Tony Stark and the infamous Black Widow.

"Yes, that would be the reason." Darcy concluded without a second to hesitate. Loki swallowed the gag in his throat and looked back at the TV screen. "It's starting!" Darcy smiled and cuddled up at one end of the sofa, bringing her knees up to her chest to place the bowl of soup upon her kneecaps.

Loki finished up his own Ramen and sat back. He wasn't sure what to expect, and he hadn't had a very good experience with movies since staying in Midgard. Nonetheless, he didn't find himself in the mood to do anything other than watch movies.

The two sat in silence through the screams, blood splatter, and cries for mercy feeling quite at ease.

* * *

**wow, so does anybody else spell 'va-j-j' like i do? i don't know if i spelled that right, lmao, but i mean - you hopefully got the point. if you don't know how to pronounce it, say it outloud. you might sound like an idiot, but its pretty blunt in meaning.**

**if anyone was wondering what movie Loki was thinking about that apparently brought Jane Foster to tears, would be _Titanic_. i thought that was pretty self explainitory. **

**oh, and Tony Starck attended this Halloween party wearing a stylish, pimped up Robin Hood costume. As Natasha rocked it in a Jessica Rabbit themed costume. it just sort of hit me in the back of my head, and i decided to add it here at the bottom of the chapter as bonus material ;D lol **

**let me know what you thought about this :) **


	3. Lucky Socks & Tampons

A/N: **okay, so if there is any mistakes in this, i apologize. this was written pretty fast lol. try and ignore them for now. i went over this about two more times, so it should be clear now. sorry, i'm my own beta. lol. **

songs played while writing: **"London Beckons Songs About Money Written By Machines" by Panic! At the Disco ; "Heartbreak Down" by Pink ; "Smile" by Avril Lavigne **

* * *

Lucky Socks & Tampons

* * *

It was Wednesday, Loki's third day rooming with Darcy Lewis. She was strange, talked a lot and watched weird movies. Loki found she wasn't of very much importance to him. Though, she was slightly more entertaining than Jane. Jane was only fun to watch when Thor was around. Obviously, Midgard women were not accustomed to Thor's charms—charms even _he_ wasn't aware of.

The blush on her cheeks to go along with her awkward expression was enough to get a smirk out of Loki. Recently, the looks became even more intense when Thor brought up his hammer into the conversation.

While Darcy was away at school, Loki would pop himself back to Jane's place to visit his brother. He had a lack of things to do during the day anyway. Thor, when he wasn't working with the Avengers on call, was doing the same thing every time around—watching TV, eating or sleeping.

Loki never failed to notice the slight hints Thor threw in when they talked. He constantly asked if Loki had grown to like his new living space. He asked if Darcy was kind and if Loki thought her as a friend. Overall, it was quite tiring to hear these things over and over. No one could _force_ anyone to like another. It wasn't natural that way.

Loki was never able to _force_ Sif to like his strategies back when they were naïve kids, him avoiding ever having to face off Thor in their play-battles. He was never able to _force_ anyone to find liking to his sinister plan two months ago. He was never successful in _forcing_ anyone to hear out his ideas back in Asgard. In a way—he was never able to force anyone to like _him_.

He was a god of mischief and lies. Some may think he could use that to his advantage. What was the sense in stressing over something so small if he could lie his way into it? There'd be no problems. He was, after all, a pro.

Others believe the fact he was granted with such skills—meant he had no conscious. He did. And lying, for some strange reason, didn't cut it. It wasn't enough. It was as if he were playing himself if he were to his lie his way into making someone like him.

That, however, wasn't the point. Loki didn't see the use in getting tied up with anyone anyway. Especially another from a completely different realm. Thor could make it work, of course. Loki didn't believe luck was much on his side to begin with.

On the couch, laying back with his head hoisted upon a soft couch pillow, Loki had his eyes glued on a show on the Discovery Health channel about a woman with plastic surgery that had gone drastically wrong. In an odd way, this made Loki feel a little bit better about his 'blue' condition.

At the same time, Darcy was rummaging around her apartment, gathering up her stuff for class in an hour. She had the phone to her hear, talking frustratedly at a woman Loki knew not of. He occasionally glanced up at her when she practically sprinted, then back at the screen.

"No, okay? I don't have the time! What is this, like her fourth marriage? Come on, Mom, it won't last anyway. We might as well pretend this recession is serious and save the money on gas!" Darcy exclaimed into the phone while searching for something in the kitchen. She listened as the woman across the line shouted her replies and made her way into the living room to search more.

Darcy lifted the pillow behind Loki's head, "Yeah, okay, I get it. I really do! She's your niece and she just had a baby. I'm only trying to get ready for class, Mom! You know, graduate from school and get a better car _and_ pay you back for paying my rent those three months last year!" Darcy then lifted Loki's legs that were crossed at the ankle.

Loki rolled his eyes, fighting back the urge to tell her to do otherwise. He did not enjoy being fondled with like a toy.

"I have to go, Mom. Love you too. Bye." She hung up quicker than the response came and sighed dramatically. "Ugh! Where _are_ they?"

"May I ask what exactly you're looking for?" Loki murmured, readjusting the pillow beneath his head.

"My socks." She answered and leaned her body over his to glance between the couch and wall behind it. Loki moved his head to see the TV from around the bump of her buttocks.

"Your _socks_? Don't you have more than one pair?" He questioned and thanked the Heavens when she finally moved out of his way.

"You don't understand!" Darcy said in a sigh, "These are special socks."

"What could possibly be so important about these particular socks?" Loki watched as the woman with a bad plastic surgery infection talked to the doctor and got her face marked up with small blue lines before her surgery.

"I have a test in political science today. If I don't wear these _particular_ socks—I'll bomb it." She confessed, moving a stack of DVDs in the shelf below the TV. The stack collapsed over her hands and created a mess on her floor by the coffee table.

"I'm guessing that means you'll fail the exam." Loki analyzed, talking while watching the program. "I still do not see what this exam has to do with your socks."

Darcy raked her hair back and looked at Loki head on. "They're lucky socks, if you must know. I wear them every time I take a test in that class."

"You studied didn't you? Just because you wear different socks doesn't mean you will fail, Darcy Lewis." Loki turned up the volume slightly on the TV.

"You're right." She paused and stood. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to chance anything. There's no way I'm failing anything today!" Darcy raced to her bedroom and began her search in there once again.

Loki let out a simple sigh and continued on with his own business.

"They've got to be here somewhere . . ." Darcy thought aloud to herself, lifting the covers off her bed and looking behind her pillows. After going through every possible drawer in her small dresser, she realized she had to pee again. With a grunt, she slugged her way into the bathroom connected to her bedroom with another door that led out near the living room for guest convenience.

Darcy put her chin her hand while giving into the release. She sighed, going over any places of her apartment she hadn't checked yet in her head. Once the trickling was stopped, Darcy looked between her legs and almost screamed with anger. _You've _got _to be kidding me_, she thought. _Not now_!

With a quick grab, Darcy managed to reach the small package of birth control pills sitting on her bathroom counter. Her hand made contact with her forehead in a slap when she saw she had reached the end of the month—the most dreaded part of the month. How could she have not seen that sooner? Now she was sitting on her toilet with a red mess in the toilet water and no tools in the cabinet under the sink to fix it.

Or maybe . . .

"_Loki_!"

Loki nearly tipped off the couch at the abrupt, and rather sharp, scream that ran through his ears. He figured a scream like that couldn't have been for no good purpose. Tossing the TV remote aside, he got up quickly and hustled to Darcy's bedroom. "What? What is it?" Loki asked frantically, turning his head from side to side in search for Darcy.

"I need your help."

Loki turned around and spotted Darcy sitting on the toilet through the open bathroom door, a slight frown on her face as she fondled with a piece of clean toilet paper in her hands. "I know we are roommates now, Darcy, but there is a line I do not cross with people as such. For example," He swallowed with a dry throat. "Wiping another person's . . . bottom. You are young. In other words, you are capable."

"Not with _that_!" Darcy rolled her eyes. "Can you get me a pen?"

Loki looked around and then down at his feet, placing his hands loosely upon his hips. She was utterly impossible. He sighed through his nose and looked back at the woman with a brow raised. With paper in her hands and the need for a pen, Loki put two and two together. "A _pen_? Do you really think that is the best place to start your own novel? There's a desk right over there—"

"I am _not_ going to start my own novel!" Darcy exclaimed, "Just _please_ get me a pen! Like, now!"

Loki hadn't seen Darcy very moody before. This wasn't a very casual occurrence. Considering the fact she was currently on the toilet asking for writing utensils and he was missing a very interesting show on television. Finding a pen on Darcy's cluttered desk, Loki handed it to her without completely going in the bathroom. A part of him believed he'd catch on fire if he got any closer.

"Thank you," Darcy took it quickly and began scribbling down something on the piece of toilet paper, using the small bit of counter top she could reach from her seat as a hard base.

Loki decided it'd be the best time to make his exit, but was stopped by Darcy before he could take another step. She held out the toilet paper and said, "Here. I need you to get this for me. Right now. Within the next twenty minutes."

Loki reached in and retrieved the paper. He looked it over while making a strange face. "What is this?"

"Don't ask questions!" Darcy snapped, "Just hurry! I have class soon and I really,_ really _don't want to be late. So, could you please?"

With a second glance, Loki made his way out to the living room and put on the right wear before blinking. When his eyelids came up again, he was standing in front of the store Darcy had named on the piece of toilet paper: _WALMART_.

Loki glided in and noticed a woman with a blue shirt greeting in the costumers. She had strange metal objects that appeared to be small and wrapped around her rows of teeth like a chain, a metal ring encircling her head. Her hair was parted up in two ponytails while large spectacles shielded her eyes to improve her vision; Darcy had some, Loki knew, but not as round—or pink.

"Hi, welcome!" She greeted with a broad smile.

"Good day, miss." Loki said flatly and made his way over in her direction. "I'm looking for something and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind assisting me?"

The woman—who Loki noticed now that he was closer up, only seemed to be around sixteen—giggled madly and nodded. "Of course, sir! I'd love to!"

Loki gave her a smirk and her lips parted in awe. "Lovely." She looked at him with wide eyes, still nodding. Loki pulled out the paper from his coat pocket and held it out to her. "I need this as quickly as possible."

The teen took the toilet paper slowly, not taking realize it _was_ toilet paper, and took a few moments of starring at the man before reading what was written. "Tampons?" She read, her lip twisting up in confusion.

Loki leaned in a bit, playing with her mind with a convincing grin, "I'm on a very limited time span, miss . . ." His eyes blinked down to get a glance at her name tag. "Miss Kinkie."

Kinkie nodded quickly and led him away to a section of isles to his left. She walked as if he were chasing her, but Loki didn't mind. She wasn't talking, and that was a plus. "We have all sorts of selections right here," She informed him, stopping at the beginning of an isle with a large amount of colorful boxes, stacked and organized looking.

Loki noticed the boxes had the same sort of objects on them—besides women. It was small and oddly shaped. He read a box and saw it had the word 'tampon' on it. "Yes, this is what I need."

"We have a large variety, sir!" She smiled and silently invited Loki to wonder after her down the isle to get a better look. "Not all menstrual cycles are the same, so you'd need to find the perfect one to get you through nicely!" Loki looked at her blankly and she scanned down the piece of toilet paper once again. "Well, it doesn't say any one brand on here. Do you know what kind you're looking for?"

Loki's eyes roamed around and he suddenly felt slightly overwhelmed with so many different kinds. So many colors. So many sizes. He cleared his throat, not letting his weaker side show. "I have a roommate that is in great need of these . . . _tampons_. So, whatever will do the best job out of these options is what I want."

Kinkie nodded slowly, "Okay . . ." She spun on a heel and picked out a purple box. She read the back quickly and then picked out a different box. "Well, is she just starting?"

"Starting what?" Loki slid his hands in his pockets.

"Her menstrual cycle, silly goose!" Kinkie giggled and picked up a different box.

_Silly goose_? Loki restrained from doing anything uncalled for to the naïve girl. No one had ever called him a 'silly goose'. What sort of name was that when referring to a god? Loki breathed in and out, taming himself. He would _not _make this girl choke on her annoying, little giggle—not today. He was a good man. The feeling would pass.

"Uh, sir?"

Loki realized he had shut his eyes in the process of soothing himself back into sanity. If he had any left, of course. He opened them in a sharp movement and put on a smile for her sake. Loki knew he'd scare her soon if he didn't. "Yes?"

"Heavy flow or light flow?" She asked innocently.

_Ugh, more questions! Damn it all_, he thought. "Both." He lied.

"So do you want the thick and strong ones in the same brand or two different ones? I personally prefer this brand. I don't get any stains." Kinkie said with a shrug of her shoulder.

Loki had had it with questions. What did it matter what brand he got? They were all for the same damn purpose. If Darcy wanted a _specific _brand, she would have written it down. And if she had forgotten, then it was a shame. Loki was no one's slave. "I think I've decided."

* * *

Darcy slumped forward, her chin in the palms of her hands while her elbows dug holes in her thighs. In her boredom, her eyes wondered around the bathroom and made mental notes what to get rid of or fix. Her feet had gotten cold against the tiled floor and she wished even more she had her lucky socks—and possibly a chocolate bar.

Without a sound, Loki popped back into the bedroom. Darcy sat up a little straighter at his arrival. She noticed he was looking quite restless, or possibly irritated. "You're back! Did you get the stuff?" She then began looking for a plastic bag with her much needed items in it.

Loki moved the arm that had been bent up, hooking something by his fingers behind his back. He pulled it forward and dropped the overloaded bag on the bathroom floor. It spilled over and Darcy looked wide eyed at all the boxes in different shades of green. "Uh . . ." Did he think she was going to flood all of North America?

"You didn't write down a brand. And the woman there—" Loki raked his long, elegant fingers through his hair. His jaw twitched before he dared to continue. "Oh, that woman. I just took every kind that had a green box and left—before I turned her inside out and fed her organs to a cow. She called me a _goose_! A goose! Then she started talking about flowing and cycles and stains!"

Darcy kept her lips glued shut.

"That," He said in a low voice, "Will be the _last_ time I ever go back in a store with tampons in it!"

With that, he made his exit and Darcy looked down at all the green tampon—and occasionally pad—boxes covering her bathroom floor. It looked like bulky grass. Darcy smirked to herself. _At least I'm set for the rest of the year_, she thought.

* * *

Loki let his eyes flutter shut, laying back on the couch cushions with a peace of mind. On the TV a movie played about small creatures that turned evil when they were exposed to water. Loki only paid half of his attention the screen. The other half was almost taken by a light snooze. He was particularly tired, but sleep sounded nice.

Well, _did_.

Darcy opened the door hours later when her class had ended. Loki pealed open an eye and looked across the room at her. She looked tired, glum and slightly pissed. She held the door open with an outstretched arm, her bag starting to slide off her shoulder. A second later, the door slammed shut with a loud bang. Darcy dropped her bag by the kitchen counter with another bang and stormed into her room.

Loki, being in his right sense of mind, wasn't going to get up and go anywhere near that room. Even if Asgard was mere moments away from being blasted into a tiny little pieces. He was willing to take that chance.

"Do we have _anything_ sweet?" Darcy asked once she came back out of her room minutes later, dressed in pajama pants decorated with broken hearts and cross bones. She wore an oversized gray t-shirt and her hair was thrown up in the messiest way possible. Her glasses were back on and covering her feet were fuzzy striped socks. Loki guessed this was her way of getting comfortable. She looked as if she were preparing for bed—and it was only around three-thirty.

Darcy swung open the narrow pantry door and grabbed a cylinder container. She fetched herself a spoon and smashed it into the now opened container as if stabbing the life out of a deranged dog on steroids. Loki saw the substance on the spoon before it was buried in her mouth. It was brown like chocolate and thick.

Loki sat up and scooted over when Darcy began walking over to the couch—nearly stomping in rage. He guessed any caring person would ask what was wrong, but he wasn't just _any _person.

Or a caring one, for that matter.

"Thanks for the tampons earlier, by the way." She mumbled with a mouth full of chocolate icing. She licked her lips and stabbed the spoon in until it hit the bottom of the container.

"You're welcome." Loki said flatly and kept his eyes drawn to the movie playing at a quiet volume.

"Just because you don't care, and I know you don't," She began, eating her icing like a hopeless woman. "I thought you should know I probably failed that test so bad I'll fail for the semester."

Loki turned his head slightly, his eyes flickering down to her feet that were set next to his thigh due to the fact Darcy almost never sat with her feet on the ground while on a couch. "I'm guessing you didn't find those 'lucky socks' of yours?" He ventured quietly.

Darcy made a noise as if she were on the verge of tears and chocked out a "no".

Loki swallowed and breathed out slowly, preparing for battle. "I am very sorry to hear that." He managed. He could summon an army, but comfort a woman? Forget it.

"It just sucks! I mean, do you know I don't even have to live in this crappy apartment? My family is practically loaded! I could live wherever I want—but am I? _No_. I wanted to take responsibility for my own freaking life. So now, I'm here, asking the damn god of mischief to get me tampons and totally spacing out when the _one_ guy I thought wouldn't be so bad to date is flirting with me! He was trying to get my number and what do I do?" She spooned another fill of icing.

"You . . . gave him your number?" Loki tried and almost jumped back when she answered.

"No! I tell him I have really bad cramps and walk away!" She blew a strand of loose hair away from her face and stuffed more icing in her mouth. "What is _wrong_ with me? And you don't even want to _know_ how much I'm craving a hot fudge Sunday right now. Oh, and don't even get me started started on my cousin's stupid wedding! She's been married like four or five times! Who has _that _many weddings in under three years? Huh? Exactly. No one."

Loki shifted a bit in his seat. "I—"

"It's not like I have all the money in the world. I mean, working with Jane for S.H.I.E.L.D.—you know, monitoring space and what not with satellites and her genius brain just to make sure we won't have anymore encounters with aliens or whatever any time soon—pays pretty well, considering I'm just an assistant. But there's a lot of things to take care of around here too! Bills and crap. Totally sucks. And knowing I only got a job there because if I didn't take the offer, I'd be killed 'cause I know too much—kinda sucks too. You know? Jane gave me this whole week off, too. Now that I think about it, it's probably because she knew she was gonna ask me if you could stay here. She wanted us to 'bond'."

"Bond?" Loki lifted a brow.

"Yeah, you know, get to know each other." Darcy licked the spoon and thought a moment. "What do you like to do for fun?" Loki looked at her blankly again. "Rough question? Okay, uhmm, do you go to school back on Asgard?"

Loki answered, "We have tutors, yes."

"That's cool. I was a total nerd all through school. I started wearing glasses when I was seven and got braces the year I started junior high. Not. Pretty." She smirked and ate a smaller bite of icing.

"A nerd?" He repeated.

"Yes, like _Star Wars_ front-to-back-know-it-all nerd. I didn't even get my first boyfriend until freshman year. His name was Kenny. He liked to make weird science jokes and stare at my boobs." When Loki grew quiet, Darcy asked, "What was the name of this crazy woman at the store earlier today?"

Loki shuttered at the thought of her. ". . . Kinkie."

Darcy broke out in a laugh, causing Loki to look at her with a brows raised high. "Kinkie? Her_ name _was Kinkie? Are you serious?" Loki nodded and she said, "Well, was she kinky?"

"Her name was Kinkie, yes."

"No, I mean was she _kinky_. As in sexy."

"Sexy?" Loki asked, "By that, do you mean she was attractive in the sense I would bed her?" Darcy nodded with the spoon in her mouth and Loki felt his stomach turn. "By the grace of the nine realms, absolutely _not_."

"Aww, come on, she probably wasn't_ that_ bad!" Darcy laughed lightly and nudged her toe against Loki's thigh. "What did she look like?"

Loki pictured her face in his mind. "She had blonde hair . . ." Darcy nodded for him to continue and he sighed. "Blonde hair in two floppy things on the sides of her head. She was skinny and had the most strangest giggle. She was wearing these large, round spectacle things and she had this metal ring around her head, like a planet. Her teeth were covered in metal, as well."

Darcy's lips parted, "Hey! Don't judge because she had braces! Braces aren't that bad once you look past the metal and at the gorgeous face underneath."

"Braces? Is that what they're called?" Loki made a considering expression. "Interesting. They look quite dangerous. I fail to see how _I'm _the evil one when people walk around with metal objects in their mouth on a day to day basis."

Darcy couldn't help but shed a laugh. "And I had some too, like I said. Minus the ring around my head."

Loki tried to picture Darcy Lewis with braces, but it didn't come easy. He dropped the topic and moved on to something else. "You said you're parents were 'loaded'? I'm assuming that means they are highly wealthy. Why live here if you could live somewhere else?"

Darcy shrugged and placed her half empty container of icing on the coffee table. She took a couch pillow and placed it in her lap while her arms wrapped around it, hugging it to her. "I wanted to try and be more independent. Live on my own for a while. My parents might be well off, but that doesn't mean they're not totally damaged."

"Damaged?" Loki questioned.

"They're crazy people. My Dad is obsessed with collecting things worth millions of dollars. He's where I get most of my insanity from. Total _Star Wars_ and _Star Gate_ freak. You should see his office. He's got a life size statue of Darth Vader. My Mom has this theory that if we live well, we'll feel fantastic all the time. So, that's exactly what she does. You'll never catch her in sweats, I can tell you that much. They resent each other a lot, too. Mom blames Dad for the fact I moved out and wanted to try life on my own. She's overly attached to me. It's sad, really."

Loki thought her life was a bit entertaining. He suddenly wanted to hear more about her family. Maybe his wasn't the only one with the problems. However, Darcy cut in before he could ask anything else. "I thought I should tell you now before I totally forget," She began. "We're having dinner with Jane and Thor the day after tomorrow."

"Dinner? Why?"

"It was part of a deal Jane and I made last Friday." Darcy grinned, "It'll be interesting, trust me."

Loki didn't find the idea totally barbaric, so he secretly entrusted his feelings towards it with Darcy. If she thought it would be interesting, it possibly could be.

"Want to try some?" Darcy suddenly had the container in her hand again and was holding it out towards Loki. Loki was hesitant, and she urged, "It's not that bad, trust me. I don't have any Midgardian diseases or anything either, so don't worry."

So, the god of mischief and lies tried chocolate icing for the first time and found it to be quite satisfying. The rest of the night, Loki listened to Darcy talk about her childhood and high school life, her parents and her old pets. He finished up the icing by himself and never missed a word Darcy Lewis said.

* * *

A/N: **the movie Loki was watching towards the end of this chapter would be "Gremlins". **

**I don't know much about Darcy Lewis' past, but that was something i sort of just made up on my own without much research. though, i don't think there'd be too much. anyway, if you know what her life was life before, let's just play pretend with this. okay? lol. if you think about it, a lot of people assume Darcy's a broke girl. (no pun intended). i decided to change it up in this chapter and show the real side of things. **

**please, no one get offended about the girl with braces. i have nothing against them. in fact, i have some! i mean, they suck, but whatever. lol. she was just a fictional character of my mind. thank you.**

**. . . . review?**


	4. Dinner & a Show

A/N: **HOLY CRAP! this was way longer than i intended! i went from super excited to write this, to writing it, to dull with inspiration to finish it, to super inspired to finish, to pleading with my hands not to die so i could _actually_ finish it! so, brace yourself. this chapter goes up and down. from dull points to crazy-ass points. it's weird. i know. okay. imma shut up now. **

**do note: Darcy is 22, sort of almost 23, in this. i never mentioned it before, but i am now. don't ask questions. lol. **

songs playing while writing this chapter :** "You're Hiding All The Right Things" by Breathe Electric ; "In My Head" [cover] by Mayday Parade ; "What The Hell" by Avril Lavigne ; "Toxic" [cover] by Static Lullaby ; "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred ; "Raise Your Glass" by P!nk ; "I Want Candy" [cover] by Good Charlotte **

* * *

Dinner & a Show

* * *

Looking in the mirror, Darcy mentally smiled to herself. She didn't look half as bad as she thought she would look. Granted, there was a small zit near her temple that her glasses usually covered that wouldn't go away, but she didn't pull out every skin cream bottle in the house like her Mother. It'd get taken care of eventually.

Darcy held back her hair while she leaned over the sink and got rid of the mouthwash she had had in use. She licked her lips and reached for the perfume bottle just as Loki walked in, adjusting the collar of his nicely pressed shirt. "Now, remember," Darcy said as she spritzed herself with the berry scent perfume labeled 'secret wonderland'. "Too normal is _too_ normal."

Loki leaned in close to the mirror, finishing the fixing of his collar and checking his teeth. "Too normal is too normal?" He echoed and licked his lips when done examining his sparkling, straight white teeth. "You're mumbling again." He said flatly.

Darcy put a hand on her hip, "No. I'm not, Mr. Know-It-All-God."

"Don't be ridiculous." Loki began messing with the cuffs of his button down and said, "I might know a lot more than you, but that doesn't mean I know it _all_."

"Gee, thanks." Darcy rolled her eyes and started looking for something in the cabinet below the bathroom counter. There was a tub that sat next to the bag of spare toilet paper, filled with different products for the hair and skin, plus different small containers of medicine. "What I mean is that this dinner is supposed to be for fun. You know, hang out with friends over a nice, home-cooked meal and talk about stupid things like—" She found the small tube of hair gel she had been searching for and stood, towered over by Loki who was giving her the look which meant he was listening—sort of—and trying to understand as much as he cared to hear. "Like the weather."

Loki lifted a brow, "That really is something stupid to discuss. One could just look or walk outside and see for themselves." He said more to himself than her.

Darcy shrugged a shoulder in agreement, "Glad you see it my way. So don't act _too_ stiff, too normal. That's totally cliché. Just relax and have a good time. Now," She squeezed out the tiniest drop of gel on the ending fragment of her index finger. "Come here."

"What? No." Loki inched back, looking down at her finger with a hard expression.

Darcy sighed, "It's gel. It isn't going to hurt you."

"Gel? And where are you going to put that?" Loki, burdened with such an intellectual and highly adventurous mind, couldn't think of one place pleasant that slimy stuff was going to end up on. Or _in_, for that matter.

"It goes in your hair, man-of-many-questions." She replied, her lips pursing in the way they did when she was irritated and tired of explaining her reasoning for the things she did. Loki noticed that face all too often. Especially when the elderly woman across the hall pesters Darcy about the looks she gives to the woman's overweight, snot colored dog.

Loki's jaw twitch and he took a small step forward, leaning down a bit so Darcy could reach his head. "If you're going to wear your hair like this," She said gently, brushing her fingers at the back of his head and over his thick, black hair. "Try and make sure you don't look like you have some sort of weird antenna sprouting out from the back of your huge head." Darcy used the small amount of gel to force down the wild lock of hair.

Darcy tossed the tube of gel back in the tub under the sink when done and smirked up at Loki who was looking back at his reflection. "Perfect!"

"Thank you." Loki said with a hint of uncertainty.

"Come on, we don't want to be late!" Darcy gave him a light pat on the arm and walked into her bedroom. She grabbed the black cardigan that matched her simple, yet stylish, light purple dress shirt—tight around the bosom with a the rest hanging down to her waist like a skirt. She didn't think her newly bought jeans looked bad with the top or flats mimicking the shade of purple on her shirt.

Loki, even more so, didn't look bad either. Darcy inwardly complimented his choice in the gray button down shirt and dark denim jeans. She equally complimented the fact he even owned such clothes. Especially the nice shoes he put on only minutes before she fixed his hair.

Darcy slid her phone in her pocket and walked out into the kitchen to grab her keys. Loki was standing by the front door, starring holes into something on the floor. He looked up when he heard her footsteps along the wooden floor grow near and waited. "Oh, and one more thing." She spoke up as she did a quick scan of the kitchen for the last place she tossed her keys. Spotting them, she continued, "Don't freak out when we get there, okay?"

Loki just stayed quiet and watched as she flipped off the lights and made her way next to him. Darcy held the hand that had the keys in her palm to her button lip as she thought a moment. "Do you remember where I parked the car?"

Loki rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand to stop its fidgeting. He was growing intolerant of this suspenseful feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. He only wanted to get there and back.

Darcy looked up at him with a brow raised, "Uh, what are you—" She let out a breath and didn't get the oxygen back in her body until she was standing in front of Jane's front door, a bit wobbly in the knees. "Okay . . . _what_ just happened?"

"You were taking too long." Loki said innocently, but in a familiar bland tone. He let go of her hand and tucked his in the pits of his jean pockets.

"Then you tell me to hurry up—not pop me in a completely different location without a heads up." Darcy rolled her eyes and tucked away her keys. "I guess it saved some cash on gas." She mumbled and sniffled her nose in the chilly air.

Loki glanced down and got a full view of Darcy's nose, nostrils flared in almost perfectly round circles. "Booger check," She said with closed eyes and leaned in Loki's personal space a bit more.

"A _what_?" He twitched back, brows lifted.

Darcy sighed, "Do I have anything in my nose?"

"No." Loki shook his head. "Believe me, I would have said something by now."

"I guess that's promising." Darcy raked her hair back and hit the doorbell button.

Within seconds, Jane was standing there with a nervous smile on her face. She dressed in light blue jeans, heel-less boots that reached mid-calf, a simple brown and red stripped V-neck sweater and her hair was swooped up in a pony tail. "Hi, guys," She said quietly and stepped aside for them to enter. "Come on in."

Loki let Darcy forward first and followed in after. The small house smelled wonderful and was plenty warm. Jane led them to the table and they sat in silence for a few short moments. "Where's my brother?" He asked and Darcy perked her head up from her phone with a smile on her face. Together they looked at Jane and she stood abruptly.

"Wine, anyone?" She asked in a slightly shaky voice. Her smile, however, spoke otherwise. It was calm and collected, stunning as usual.

Jane retrieved four wine glasses from a cabinet above the stove in the kitchen next to the quaint dining area. She got the bottle of red, velvety wine and poured them each a glass. "Thor's, uhmm, getting ready." Loki took a sip of his wine and looked at her with his deep, green eyes. "But don't worry," She added quickly, "Dinner's already ready, so as soon as Thor comes over we can start eating right away!"

Darcy grinned, "Can't wait."

Jane shot Darcy a narrowed eyed glare and turned her attention back to Loki with a flawless smile. "So, have you been liking it over at Darcy's?"

Loki moved his drink around absently, causing the wine to dance around the glass in a swaying circle. "It's pleasant enough."

Darcy, sitting along side Loki, rolled her eyes. "You know I'm an amazing person and have a great taste in movies. Don't complain."

"I never said otherwise." Loki said simply and took another sip at his drink.

Jane gave a light, airy laugh and practically chugged down her drink, finishing it off with a wipe of the back of her hand to her wine stained lips. Loki noticed the action and lifted his brows. It was unusual of her, yes, but he restrained from pointing it out. "Tony had called earlier, but I missed it. He had asked a few days ago if you were doing alright." She told Loki with soft eyes.

"That is very . . . considerate of him."

The air was quiet—and highly awkward. Possibly tense. Darcy was on the verge of pulling out her hair. The small talk was getting incredibly weird. Jane and Loki talked about stars then knitting in a five minute time span. She barely touched her wine, just stared at it in boredom. Something tweaked in the pit of her stomach and her stomach let out a soft growl. Darcy put her palm flat against her belly and groaned. "I'm hungry. Where the hell is Thor?"

Jane poured herself a little more wine and said, "He's—"

"_Brother_!"

Loki and Darcy turned their heads towards the deep, happy voice.

"Oh, God," Jane let the wine bottle tip back over and fill her glass almost to the top.

Loki's lips parted and he felt as if he could see his own eyes drying out slowly and shrivel away onto the tiled floor. He had seen many things in his life. Many things he still wished he had not seen. His brother, at that very moment, was top of the list.

"I'm so glad you guys could make it!" Thor's smile almost spread from ear to ear.

Darcy's jaw dropped. Thor stood across the kitchen at the door that led into his and Jane's bedroom. He wore a light pink apron, reaching down halfway over his muscular calf. Only stopping a few inches away from the base of his knees, were clean white high socks, colored pink at the heel and toes. Darcy had had doubts about this. She was half convinced Jane wouldn't go through with it. But all doubts were shattered when Thor walked through the bedroom door looking exactly how she pictured he'd look like. It was all too good to possibly be true.

Thor walked over casually, combing back some of his hair through his fingers. "Brother, why the long face?"

Loki sighed through his nose and sat back in his chair, starring holes into his wine glass. He skillfully avoided looking to his right, where Thor stood now with his hands on his hips. Loki was afraid he really wouldn't _ever _understand this man.

Darcy snickered and mumbled, "Yeah, long is just the word for it." Jane shot her look and began chugging down more wine.

"I still do not see why I have to wear this." Thor said, confused at the reasoning—but not exactly upset about it. He was looking at Jane and she detached the now half empty glass from her lips.

"Ah, well, you see—" She attempted, but then looked over at Darcy. "Darcy thought it'd be a good idea to . . . try something different."

Thor was quiet a moment, "You have some of the most interesting ideas, Darcy Lewis. I like it!" He smiled broadly. "It is quite comfortable. I can see why women enjoy cooking so much. Jane, you should do it more often." He winked and she felt the heat crawl up her cheeks.

"We should do this kind of thing monthly." Darcy said with a gleeful smile. Loki looked over at her sharply, beating Jane to it. He saw that smile and knew instantly—from mere experience at it himself—that was plain mischief at its best.

Jane cleared her throat, "So, uh, do you need help with getting the plates ready, Thor?"

Thor shook his head, "No, not at all! It's my pleasure."

"Jane's too." Darcy coughed and Loki almost smirked to himself.

"So, since I am the waiter," Thor reached in the pocket of his apron and pulled out a small notepad and a pen. "I did some research on it and it says I'm supposed to take your orders."

"_You_ did research?" It was Loki, looking up at his brother skeptically.

Thor nodded, "I had some spare time yesterday while I was waiting for the . . . uh . . . what were those things called again, Jane?"

"Pizza bites."

"Ah, yes. I had some time while the pizza bites were cooking." Thor informed, "It said on the screen with the robotic mouse, that waiters write down the costumers orders and then bring it out to them. It _also _said they receive tips at the end of the dinner." He smirked and clicked the pen. "Now, what'll you have, Darcy?"

"What's on the menu?" She asked, letting out a small laugh.

Jane answered, "There's steak, peas, corn, bread rolls and mash potatoes."

Darcy's stomach made another soft noise. "I'll have everything but the peas."

Thor scribbled something down and then looked at Jane, "For you, beautiful?"

"The steak, a bread roll and some mash potatoes." Jane smiled brightly, finding this dinner to be some what fun. It wasn't as if she completely _disagreed_ on the choice of clothing for her boyfriend. She just didn't clarify it out loud.

"And you, brother?" Thor asked while finishing up Jane's order.

"I think I've lost my appetite." Loki said quietly, sipping down more wine.

Darcy nudged his side, "No, he hasn't. He'll take everything! Won't you, Loki?" She gave him a look and he returned it. "I said not to freak out." She whispered while Thor and Jane exchanged a look of their own.

Loki rolled his eyes, "You also said this was supposed to be fun."

"Oh, come on," Darcy said. "You've seen me on the toilet. How weird could it be to see your _brother_ naked with an apron on?"

Loki had seen Darcy with her pants down on the toilet, yes. However, it wasn't as if he could see anything . . . private. She wasn't naked and she had had a sweat jacket on, almost covering her bare thighs completely. Not to mention she was _female_. Loki responded, "Fine," He then gave her a sly, nerve bottling grin. "I'll play along."

Darcy gulped, feeling a bit regretful. Something told her she had bitten off way more than she could chew. "Great . . ." Now it was her turn to drink some wine.

"So, everything for you, brother?" Thor clarified with a smile.

Loki looked up at his brother, no hesitation traceable in the smile tugging at his lips. "Please."

"Great!" Thor said happily and walked into the kitchen. He washed his hands and began preparing the dinner plates by what was written on his notepad.

Loki glanced back at Thor and grimaced at the apron straps tied in a perfect bow above his firm—and very bare—buttocks. He made a mental note never to come to dinner with Jane and Thor if Darcy had invited him to it. Judging by this Friday night dinner, that would only mean chaos. Though, he _was_ the slightest bit impressed with her cunning skills.

"So," Loki looked over at Jane. "Did you assist him in the kitchen while all this food was being cooked? Assist him with the food, of course. Though, it wouldn't surprise me if that wasn't the case. Regardless. I'm sure Thor enjoyed it either way."

Darcy choked on a laugh as she tried to swallow her small bit of wine. She coughed and couldn't ignore Loki's classy smile while he made conversation with a flushed-face Jane. _Oh, it's on_, she thought.

"I helped cook some of the steaks, yes." Jane managed as even toned as possible. "The mash potatoes, too. Thor took the smashing part a little too literally." Darcy lifted a brow in the hint of something naughty and Jane quickly changed the topic. "Are you doing anything for the holidays, Darce?"

"Day with the parents, of course." Darcy replied. "Where does Thor keep his hammer during the day?"

Jane's lips parted and she forced herself to be calm about her response. "He keeps it here most of the time. You know, when he isn't at work."

Loki set down his glass from taking a sip. "Thor and I often talked about his gifted weapon of choice. He mentioned a few times he liked to keep it in bed." Jane's eyes grew a little wider and Loki continued, "It was more convenient that way. In case of late night emergencies, that is."

Darcy gave a short glare Loki's way. He was purposely stealing her thunder. It was a stupid idea to try and out wit a god who's specialty _was_ mischief—but no one asked him to join along in it this time around. He was doing it out of revenge. Darcy put on a smile. Two could play at that game.

Thor had finished with the plates and set Darcy's in front of her gingerly. He smiled down at her and handed her a fork and knife. "Thanks," Darcy returned the smile and waited patiently for the others to be served before she dug into the delicious looking food.

Jane received her plate and said her thanks as she began to cut her steak into smaller pieces. Thor gave her a wink and went to get the last plate, Loki's, sitting on the counter. When the full plate of food was set in front of Loki, Thor whistled a soft, cheery tone as he headed to get his own plate. "Anyone care for some more wine?"

Darcy took her fork in her hand discretely, waited until eyes were down, and then tossed it—almost violently—across the table and onto the floor near the sofa only a few feet away from the head of the dining table. It landed with a soft, yet sharp, clang that echoed in the quiet.

Jane looked up from her plate, startled at the sudden clash of metal to the floor. She saw the fork on the floor and immediately looked at Darcy, seeming strangely innocent.

Thor turned around, confused and then spotted the fork on the ground. "Where—" He stopped himself and made an expression which usually meant he was trying to put the pieces together on how something might have occurred. The first thing that came to mind was that Odin had dropped an eating utensil from above. Then there was the possibility that someone had broken in and left a fork on their way out. Somehow, these two options weren't clicking . . .

"I seemed to have dropped my fork," Darcy said with a sigh. She scooted her chair back as if to get it off the floor, but smirked smugly when Thor did what she intended for him to do.

"Oh, no, it's alright, Darcy. I'll get that and get you a new one!" He smiled, glad _this_ reasoning made a little more sense, and went for the fork.

Darcy turned her head to look back down at her plate just as Thor bent over, showing off bits of parts no one should see at dinner. Loki took his turn in choking on his wine and closed his eyes tight in the act of shielding them from the horrific sight.

Jane gasped breathlessly, looked the other direction and settled into a deep, embarrassed silence until Thor was standing straight and back in the kitchen.

Darcy hadn't seen the damage she caused much at all, but she guessed judging by Loki and Jane's responses—it was exactly what people imagined when they thought about a crack in the Berlin Wall. In other words: success.

The four finally began eating once Thor had gotten his plate, a new fork for Darcy, and taken his seat. "It's great, Thor," Jane smiled and touched his arm.

"Agreed," Darcy smiled and forked another mouth full of mash potatoes. "So, how's work, Thor?" She asked once she chewed and swallowed.

Thor chuckled, "It is work." He said honestly and ate some steak before continuing. "I'd like to think I'm doing at least _something_ positive for the people of Midgard."

"You don't seem so thrilled," Darcy pointed out earnestly.

"I think what my brother is implying," Loki spoke up gracefully, but in a low tone. "Is that people back in Asgard knew him as a mighty prince, doing great things and destined for something even greater. Here, they know him as a man with long hair and a big hammer, smashing bad guys and working with other people that are just as powerful."

Thor took a drink of his wine. "That's pretty much it, yes." He laughed then, "But I know there's always something to come home to every day worth it all, regardless. And it's not some huge feast or a cheering crowd." He looked over a Jane and smirked.

Jane smiled and looked down at her food, forking it around while feeling intensely flattered.

Darcy heard Loki groan a "oh, _hell_," and take another sip at his own wine. She didn't think that was all fair. Thor and Jane were obliviously in love. Though they might not bang it up in a corner every time they walk by each other, it was the simple things that struck anyone around even more. It might get a little sickening at times—but whatever.

Once dinner was eaten and gone, Darcy remembered the best part of eating dinner in the first place. Luckily, Thor seemed to have remembered it first as he stood and began collecting their plates. "Dessert anyone?"

"Oh, great . . ." Jane reached for the bottle of wine, almost dried empty.

Thor raised a brow at her, "Jane, babe, don't you think you've had enough wine for tonight?"

Jane laughed nervously, "I don't have to be at work early tomorrow. It's all good!" She gulped some down and Thor let it go. Maybe he'd get lucky tonight.

Darcy hopped out of her seat, "I'll help serve this one, big guy!"

Thor didn't have time to protest before Darcy was in the kitchen and opening the freezer door. She pulled out the different ice creams and set them on the counter. Thor took out the whipped cream, syrups, toppings and cherries from the fridge and handed them to Darcy, knowing she knew more about this than he did.

"Jane, flavor?" Thor asked, reaching up in a high cabinet for the special dishes Jane bought a day in advanced to fit accustomed to the dessert.

"Vanilla and Strawberry." She answered seconds later and returned to her small talk with Loki.

"For you, Loki?"

Loki answered tonelessly, "Strawberry."

Darcy got the scooper and handed it to Thor. She began pealing the bananas and gave them one by one to Thor once done. Four banana split dishes sat on the counter, looking quite appetizing.

Thor reached for the whipped cream but Darcy stopped him, "We take this to them so they can put whatever they want, they way the want it, on the stuff themselves." She told him.

"Ah, good plan!" Thor nodded, thankful he didn't have to do that himself. Less work that way. Being a waiter was more work than he intended. He made a mental note to definitely tip the next waiter he and Jane saw when they ate out again. They sure as hell deserved it.

The two loaded the table with the syrups, toppings and two whipped cream cans. Jane took one of the cans and began attempting at using it.

"Oh, the spoons!" Thor hustled back into the kitchen to fetch fresh, clean spoons.

Jane sat in her seat, mentally cursing at the can which would not do as it should. "Ugh," She grunted and tried with all her strength to make the whipped cream top her banana split.

Darcy noticed her friend's struggle and made her way past Loki to help. She took the can and began banging it against the table.

"What will that solve?" Loki questioned with raised brows as the banging continued. Jane cringed with every blow the unfortunate metal can took to the table.

"It will hopefully solve _something_." Darcy replied absently and tried at squeezing out the whipped cream once again. To her delight, her solution to the problem worked.

. . . and ended up covering Loki's nose, mouth and chin.

Darcy lowered the can to her side, "Oops." She covered her mouth with her free hand and tried her hardest not to laugh. She failed horribly and Jane slowly began to join in on the laughing due to the amusing view. "Hey, maybe you resemble Odin just a little after all!"

Loki closed his eyes with ease and stayed motionless. He darted out his tongue and licked away the sweet, white foam and then used his napkin to clean a little more of it off his chin and nose. When he shifted his open eyes, he looked directly at Darcy and smiled.

Darcy's laughter died down slowly when she began to feel a hot, sticky substance run down her cheeks, arms and collarbone. She lifted her arms quickly, jaw dropped. "Did you just—" She stopped and glared. "You _did_."

Loki stood and took her arm between his long fingers, careful not to press to hard against her skin in order to stay chocolate syrup free as possible. He brought her a little closer and licked up her cheek, slowly and chillingly. "And you don't taste as bitter as you look." Loki backed away, sucking off the small bits of chocolate off his fingers as he took his seat once again.

Darcy's jaw twitched. She watched as he gave her a calm, innocent look with patches of whipped cream across the lower half of his face, appearing as if he'd been shaving.

Jane noticed the tension and believed the smartest thing to do would be to stop anything before it even started. "_Guys_, I think we should just—"

"This was a new shirt!" Darcy reached her hand in Jane's dish of ice cream and took a fist full of vanilla, preparing to fire. Loki smirked then teleported himself out of target and behind Darcy just as she swung her arm to hit him with the icy treat.

Thor, however, didn't get the memo. He was examining the spoons when a ball of cold cream hit him on the skin of his pecks that wasn't covered by the low-fitted apron. Thor flinched at the sudden coldness on his chest and looked up confusedly. "What just—?" He used his finger to scoop up some of the substance and tasted it with a smack of his lips. "Not half bad . . ."

"Nice shot." Loki commented and Darcy jumped away from the silky voice in her ear.

"That's _cheating_!" Darcy said with narrow eyes.

Loki chuckled dryly, "No. _This_ would be cheating."

Darcy instantly felt her face becoming invaded with what looked like clouds. Only to realize, it was a crap load of whipped cream being squirted all along her face and little amount of visible cleavage. When she was able to wipe some away from her eyes, she saw to replicas of Loki grinning deviously and then evaporate into thin air.

"Oh yeah," Thor nodded from behind the scene, watching like he would a duel between Sif and Fandral. "That's _definitely_ cheating."

Jane had gasped and was standing now. She heard Thor's words and looked at him in spite. "_Thor_!"

Thor looked at her and blinked, "Well it was."

"Not the point here!" Jane shoved her chair out of the way and started after Darcy, hoping to get her and hold her back from doing anything stupid. Well, even _more _stupid. "Darcy—" Jane's boot hit the floor in the wrong place and she slipped backwards on the chocolate syrup that had oozed off Darcy's body previously.

Thor looked up from scooping more ice cream off his chest and noticed Jane wasn't anywhere in sight. "Jane?"

"Down here!" She grumbled, rubbing her tailbone in pain.

Thor avoided running into Darcy—currently tossing ice cream around the kitchen like a pro baseball pitcher in goal of hitting Loki, who only popped around the kitchen with a simple, smug smile—and went towards the head of the table to help Jane up off the floor. "Are you alright?"

"I have chocolate syrup on my _ass_." Jane said as she slipped her hands in Thor's so he could hoist her up smoothly. "I've been better."

"Stay still, or else I'll delete your recording of that stupid Discovery Health special that came on today!" Darcy threatened, holding a can of whipped cream out as if it were a loaded gun.

Loki suddenly appeared near the sink. "You wouldn't _dare_."

Darcy grinned, "Oh, I would."

Thor looked down at Jane, "She would?"

Jane nodded, her eyes still on Darcy and Loki. "She _would_."

Loki opened his mouth to speak something incredibly uncivil, when he was hit on the nose with the can of whipped cream Darcy had been holding.

Darcy knew it would do little to cause him much pain, but she hit him—and that's what counted. After all, he deserved it. She was covered in chocolate and whipped cream when all _he_ had was little puffs of white on his face here and there. Plus some ice cream on his clothes from when she succeeded in getting him—but that happened rarely.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

Jane and Thor looked sharply at the front door's direction across the living room. Thor lifted a brow down at Jane when it rang again and she shrugged. "I'll get it—" She offered but Thor was already headed for the door and was halfway there. Jane took a step to follow, but was hit with a handful of nut toppings that fell down her V-neck and into her bar. She clasped her hand around her chest and turned on a heel to glare at which ever dysfunctional person was responsible.

Loki pointed at Darcy, while Darcy pointed at Loki. They looked at each other and Loki smile sweetly at Jane. "I apologize for Miss Lewis' behavior, Jane."

Jane glared then at Darcy.

"He's the god of freaking _lies_! Are you seriously going to believe _him_ over me?" Darcy exclaimed and grew quiet when she heard voices at the door.

Thor stood with the front door opened halfway, posing with a hand on his hip and an arm leaning above his head, against the door frame. He smiled at Tony Stark and Pepper Potts outside the house, dressed for an important business party.

"Uh . . ." Tony looked Thor over once, and then twice. "Why are you wearing an apron?" Thor prepared to answer when Tony held up a hand and stopped him. "Wait. Better yet, the more important question would be: are you wearing anything_ underneath _the apron?"

Thor shook his head with a toothy smile, "No, it wouldn't seem so."

Tony lifted his brows considerately, signaling he was letting that one go. "Alrighty then."

Pepper looked down at Thor's feet. "Is that mud on your socks?" She asked and Tony looked down as well.

"Thankfully, no." Thor chuckled, "It's chocolate. _Milk_ chocolate. Not the dark kind. Not many people here like that kind."

There was a pause in conversation and Thor sneezed abruptly, forcing the door to open wider and allowing Tony to look into the house all the more. He caught sight of Jane standing with her back towards them. Loki and Darcy were looking blankly at the front door, the Lewis girl looking slightly more guilty than the god of mischief. To sum it all up: Tony thought they all looked like crap.

"I'm hoping that is also what's covering Foster's ass . . . ?" Tony commented simply.

Pepper and Thor set their eyes on Jane who was still unaware of who exactly had arrived. She was in the process of scolding Loki and Darcy, who obviously weren't hearing a word she said. Thor cleared his throat a bit, "Ah, yes, that is correct." He looked back at Tony. "Is there something you need?"

Tony tore his eyes away from the chocolate dripping down Darcy, making her look like some evil swamp monster, and answered, "I had called Jane earlier to ask her if I could stop by on my way to the business party to get the laptop she said had a virus she couldn't get rid of so Banner could fix it." He faltered for a moment. "But if you're busy with . . . _things_ . . . I could come back later."

Jane turned slightly at the soft sound of her voice. Her lips parted when she saw Tony and Pepper standing outside her door. She gasped and quickly covered her chocolate coated bottom with her hands, turning around completely so it was out of sight.

"Uh . . ." Thor scratched the back of his head and looked back at Jane once more for an answer.

Darcy whispered when everyone seemed at a loss of what to do, "I think it's time we call this a night and head home."

Loki nodded lightly, "I couldn't agree more."

Without another sound, Darcy blinked and saw the familiar sight of her apartment. Loki stood next to her by the front door, surrounded by the darkness except for the moonlight coming through the cracks between the blinds of her living room windows.

Darcy wet her lips and looked up at Loki. He caught the movement and returned the look. They stared at each other in the silence for a moment. Turing their heads back forward, the two broke out in a sudden laugh, covered in their dessert but too tired to care.

Loki used a finger to swipe some chocolate off Darcy's cheek. He licked it off his finger and smiled while she continued to laugh.

There wasn't anything like a sweet ending.

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A/N: **so i hope i didn't dissapoint _too_ many people with this. i had several reivews with statements about looking foward to the dinner with Jane and Thor. those made me smile. :D but i do hope you guys enjoyed this. it took a lot of work - but i put on my Asgard warrior face on and took it down head first. XD lol.**

**why was Pepper at the door with Tony if she didn't really need to be there? because it added more awkwardness to the situation. simple as that.**

**so, if you wouldn't mind, tell me what you thought? i do apologize if there were any mistakes in this. there probably were. i'm only human, for the sake of the nine realms! **

**this is also not the end of the fanfic! no one panic! there _will_ be more!**

**. . . . . . . . . . . i kind of want some ice cream now.**


	5. Pistachios & Lingerie

A/N: **hey guys, sorry this took so long to update! i do hope you enjoy this chapter. i have noticed they are pretty long, so i am deeply sorry for that. then again, they are supposed to be like drabbles or whatever. different stories in each chapter. so, do keep that in mind. i will hopefully update soon! **

songs played:** "Wonderland" by Natalia Kills ; "Rich Girl" by Gwen Stefani ; "I Know What Boys Want" by Katherine McPhee ; "Downtown Girl" by Hot Chelle Rae ; "All Those Pretty Lights" by Andrew Belle **

* * *

Pistachios & Lingerie

* * *

"That's a nice pen. Can I have it?"

Jane's jaw tightened and she looked up at Darcy, smiling in a teasing way. "After you completely_ ruined_ my kitchen and gave Tony Stark all the more reason to check out my ass?" Jane accused and Darcy stood silent, waiting for an answer. "_No_!"

Darcy laughed nonchalantly, "Relax. I was only joking. It was two weeks ago! It wasn't like I didn't go back the next day and help clean it up." She shrugged a shoulder, leaving her stance in front of Jane's desk and took a seat at her own. "And Tony never needed a reason to stare at your ass. He only does it because Pepper isn't around and he doesn't have anything better to look at _or_ he just got scolded by Fury. You know that can get pret_ty_ nasty, if I do say so myself."

"I don't see how the second reason has to do with—" Jane stopped and rolled her eyes. "Oh, forget it." She let out a tired sigh and slumped over a tad more in her cushioned desk chair.

"You seem really stressed," Darcy pointed out bluntly. "The weird star thing in the sky Fury has been on you about probably won't go anywhere in the next two days. Why don't you try taking it easy?"

Jane looked sharply at Darcy, "Because it's my job _not _to take it easy."

Darcy held her hands up in defeat, "Okay, okay," She sat back and bit her lip for a second. She had seen this sort of behavior before. A friend she had last year in one of her English classes would get this way when she hadn't been laid in quite some time. Darcy didn't know exactly how to comfort her friend in that situation—she wasn't a complete sexual deviant as most people assumed. She had only been with one person sexual (as in, actually went through with the entire sexual process) in her entire life. That was her ex-boyfriend, Carl, of two years. She was a freshman in college and a complete idiot. Luckily, she hadn't caught anything disease-wise and when she finally got some sense into her head, though the sex was alright—dumped him.

Regardless of her own past, Darcy figured there couldn't be that much going on with Jane to make her act as snappy as she was. Jane had always been somewhat of a Grinch to Darcy—but that was _only_ when she got pissed off enough. Other than that, Jane forgave and forgot faster than anyone Darcy knew. It was something to be envied, in a way.

Darcy knew about Jane's home life. As in, her family situation. Her parents had gotten a divorce when she was seventeen. Her mom died when she was twenty, struck with cancer to the lungs. Though her parents had been divorced for years, Jane's dad never seemed to recover fully from losing his ex-wife. Darcy had only met him once, and he wasn't in the best condition. Jane took loads of care for him when she wasn't working her ass off or enjoying the life she had with Thor. Mr. Foster, Darcy concluded, could have been the only other plausible cause.

Spinning once in her desk chair, Darcy decided Mr. Foster might be a touchy subject. She tried a different approach: "Jane, did you and Thor hook up after Loki and I left?"

Jane kept her head down towards her work on her desk. "_Darcy_—"

Darcy ignored the warning tone, "I'm serious!" She rolled her chair over closer, opening a lollipop she had retrieved from her desk drawer seconds ago. "I know people can get a little . . . _short tempered_ . . . when they haven't gotten laid in a while."

Jane looked over then, a brow lifted upon her hot face. She obviously wasn't in the mood, but asked a question anyway. "And what makes you think _that's_ the reason for my attitude?"

"Well, _have_ you?" Darcy asked with her cherry lollipop in her mouth.

There was a deep silence, almost too reassuring. "No." Jane finally answered, quietly.

"In a while, or at all?" Darcy tried to clarify.

Jane ran both hands through her hair and groaned. "Why am I discussing this with you right now? I should be working! _You_ should be working!"

"I'm on break."

"_Break_? You're break was an hour ago, Darcy."

Darcy looked at Jane blankly, "Bruce said I could have another one." Jane rolled her eyes and Darcy smirked, "Kidding. Seriously though, have you gotten laid lately? There are tons of TV shows that say sex can actually mend a relationship—or keep certain science loving women in a better mood."

Jane tangled her hair into a sloppy pony tail forcefully. She bit down, making her jaw pulse and her hesitation for answering Darcy's question a little worse. "Thor and I . . ." She started, but then stopped and tried again. "There isn't a lot of time for sex."

"Oh, _please_." Darcy almost slapped her own forehead at what a stupid lie that was. "Jane, what's really the problem? I practically handed you an opportunity at the dinner! He was _naked_—and in costume!"

Jane sighed and looked anywhere but Darcy, savoring her lollipop and giving her a hard look which meant she wasn't going anywhere without an answer. "It was pretty constant at first. Not in the sense we over did it, or anything. We waited a little while after he returned and then, yeah. It's sort of all faded away in the last month and a half."

Darcy lifted a brow, "What do you mean 'faded away'?"

"We don't, you know, go at it as much as we used to." Jane's face grew a little more red. "We both work a lot and then when we're both at home, we do something simple. Like cook a meal or watch TV or talk . . ."

"Do you _want_ to have more sex again?" Darcy asked slowly, earning some looks from other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that had been pondering around the lab.

Jane was hesitant, "Well, I guess it'd be . . . nice."

"Then we should go shopping!" Darcy smiled.

"_Shopping_?" Jane's eyes widened. "Oh, no, absolutely not! I'm not going shopping with you. Something bad will happen."

Darcy gave a hurt expression, coated with sarcasm. "That's ridiculous." She shrugged a shoulder, "Besides, it's the least I could do for completely trashing your kitchen."

Jane shook her head, smiling despite her opinion on the idea. "Do you even have the money to take me shopping? No offense, of course. I'm guessing you'd want to shop for something sexy, something to 'set the mood'? That could be expensive."

"Exactly!" Darcy finished off what she cared to eat of her lollipop and rolled her chair back to her desk, tossing the lollipop remains in the trash. "Don't worry about the money. I have that covered."

Jane gave her a look, "Oh _really_?"

Darcy tossed some hair over her shoulder. "Of course!" She took out her cell and tapped the screen a few times before holding it up to her ear. She waited a moment, Jane sitting in her chair and watching silently. The phone finally stopped ringing and Mrs. Lewis picked up. "Mom? Hey!"

"Darcy, darling? Aren't you at work?" Mrs. Lewis asked, slightly concerned.

"That is correct." Darcy put on a tight smile, though she knew her mother couldn't see. "But, you see, I was sort of hoping for a favor!"

Mrs. Lewis chirped up, "A favor? Anything, darling! What is it?"

There were perks to being a spoiled child. "A friend and I had wanted to go shopping later, but I'm sort of short on cash." Darcy replied, "Would you mind lending me some? Just this once."

"Shopping! Oh, _no_ problem!" Mrs. Lewis gushed, "I'll put some money in your bank account in just a few minutes. I'm having my toes done right now. Are you shopping for dresses? Have you decided to go to the wedding? You know the family is just _dying_ to see you!"

Darcy answered, toying with a pencil on her desk. "Just casual shopping. No, I haven't decided to attend the wedding, Mom." She knew her mother would be disappointed, so she added, "But I _was_ thinking about considering a date with what's-his-face."

Mrs. Lewis gasped happily, "_Really_? That's just perfect, darling! Have fun with your friend, shopping and girl-talking!"

_Does she think I'm still sixteen?_ Darcy thought. "Oh, we will, Mom! Thanks for the money!"

"Anytime, darling!" Mrs. Lewis made kiss noises into the phone before the two hung up.

Darcy slid her phone away and then looked over at Jane, giving her a simple smile. Jane broke in a laugh and raked some of her loose bangs away from her wide eyes. "You did not just do that! I can't take money from your _mom_!"

"You're over exaggerating." Darcy responded smoothly. "If it involves any one of _my_ friends and getting a new look—she would gladly offer. If I look good and the people around me look even better, according to my mother, my life will be all rainbows and flowers." She then added, "Not that I think you look bad or anything."

Jane shrugged it off, "I understand. I just don't really think this will exactly pay off . . ."

Darcy lifted a skeptical brow, "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know—maybe Thor's just _tired_! Or bored with the idea! It might not even be that I can't 'turn him on', or whatever."

"Thor—a _male_—tired of sex?" Darcy almost laughed herself to tears. Almost. This was serious business. After all, she owed Jane for the chaos that went down at the dinner. Plus, they were friends. It was nice to make another person's life a bit happier. She kept her serious look in tact, "Look, Jane, I'm sure of it. This is a full proof plan! And even if it doesn't work—which I highly doubt—you'll still have the clothes for yourself. You can wear them to work or to the park sometime. You know, make yourself feel like a woman!"

Jane gave Darcy a look and then asked, "How do _you_ know it'll be a full proof plan?"

Darcy smiled, "I'll bring Loki."

* * *

"No."

Darcy frowned. "Aw! Come _on_! What's the problem?"

Loki grimaced, "You want me to accompany _you _and Jane Foster on a mission to purchase clothes in order to _seduce_ my brother?" There was a short moment of silence as they looked at each other. "Absolutely not." Loki walked past her and back into the living room without the slightest hesitation.

"Well when you put it _that_ way . . ." Darcy followed after him and tried again. "It would really help people in need, you know." She took a seat on the couch, watching Loki munch down on his French toast and weird healthy looking salad while sitting on the floor, his back resting against the couch near her legs. Darcy never understood his preference for meals—they came in all sorts of weird orders.

Loki didn't take his eyes off the movie playing from the VHS, one of Darcy's old kid tapes she had lying around in a box under her bed. He would casually go through her stuff when she wasn't around. One afternoon, he came across a plastic box with the title "Rugrats" on it. Curious, he took some time to figure out how to play the smaller orange box, inside the plastic box, that he had put in the mechanical box. Loki hated boxes. "My brother isn't stupid. Tell her to spread her legs and he'll be able to calculate the correct destination from there. I have no doubt."

Darcy sighed and slumped back into the cushions. "You know, it isn't always that simple."

"Judging on how much he's had to drink, I suppose you're right." Loki agreed blandly, finishing off a piece of tasty toast.

"Not what I meant." She took a pillow into her lap and picked at it's fabric. "We need a male's opinion."

Loki started at his salad and suggested, "What about Stark? Or that Steve Rogers?"

Darcy gave him a look, but the back of his head was all she could see. "Tony has already seen chocolate syrup on Jane's ass. I think he's good in the fantasy department for now. Steve wouldn't go if his life depended on it. Seeing a woman in such things would be against every rule in the book—_his_ book."

"Clint then?"

"No."

". . . Fury?"

Darcy groaned and let her head fall back. "Are you in_sane_?"

Loki lifted his brows and titled his head a bit, "Well, I _did_ try to control this entire planet." He took another bite of salad then said, "But I _do_ know for fact I am not as insane as these babies. Look at them—running through the jungle by themselves! It's as if their parents have no morals; letting their kids run wild."

Darcy snorted, "Yeah, crazy right?"

Loki had realized what he unconsciously implied and rolled his eyes. "I'm not going."

"I'll pay you."

"I have no use for Midgardian money."

"I'll let you use my shampoo."

"You're shampoo smells like the ocean. It's unappealing."

"Are you saying my hair smells like seaweed all the time?"

"Yes."

"What if I let you sleep in my bed without yelling at you for two weeks straight?"

Loki looked over his shoulder at her. "Make it three."

"_Two_."

"Four."

"One."

"Three."

Darcy groaned, "Fine! Three weeks."

"Are you going to make me hold the bags?" Loki asked, looking at the crazy babies on screen.

"Probably." Darcy answered and then bit her tongue. _Damn_.

"Three and a half weeks."

"Yeah, okay, three and a half."

Loki finished his salad and stood, the cartoon credits rolling across the screen. He stretched his arms high above his head, arching his torso forward slightly while granting Darcy a nice view of the dimples at the small of his back. "I'll go get ready." Loki said in a sigh and made his way into the bathroom.

Darcy smiled to herself, although she didn't feel as victorious as she would have. This was really on Loki's terms more than her own. She put the thought aside and reached for the remote to turn off the TV.

Loki popped his head back out from the bathroom suddenly. "I'm probably going to use your shampoo still, by the way. Mine's almost gone." He shut the door again and Darcy glared as if he were still there.

* * *

Darcy, Jane and Loki had their necks craned back, looking up in the cold December air at the huge fancy letters above the lingerie store:_ LA CERISE DOUCE_. It was French and looked highly expensive. Their mannequins were all transparent, dressed in lace and silk. The shelves against the walls were stacked high with the most classiest looking panties and a section in the back was decorated with different colored bras hanging from the ceiling.

Loki licked his lips uncomfortably. Victoria's Secret was bad enough. Now this? "I don't think I can do this." He said, shaking his head and begging his legs to move in the opposite direction. For some strange reason, he couldn't. Maybe he was too cold. There was, however, the possibility that the womanly aroma was getting to him and he knew he'd have naughty, naughty dreams tonight. That wasn't _so_ bad.

Regardless. He had to be losing _some _sort of his dignity. He was holding pink shopping bags, damnit! Loki closed his eyes and sighed through his nose.

"You can do it." Darcy nudged his side lightly. "You handled Victoria's Secret like a boss!"

Loki glanced down at her coldly, "Yes. And now I know secrets men should not."

"Darcy," Jane spoke up. "This place looks really fancy. Are you sure about this?" She questioned, hoping not to sound too doubtful. Jane was highly grateful this late night shopping trip hadn't consisted of any sex shops. The last thing she wanted to do was tip Darcy in the wrong direction.

"Positive." Darcy gave a half smile. "Let's just hurry up and get in. My feet are killing me."

As they made their way in, Loki looked at Darcy disbelievingly. "Are you kidding me?" He whispered loudly. "I've teleported us everywhere since the moment we left to start this stupid shopping trip. Not to mention, _I'm_ the one caring the bags."

Darcy glanced back at him, "Well, if you're so good at _poofing_ things around, why don't you just poof those bags away? Keep in mind, that'll be just more work since Jane and I will need to review our purchases to keep a steady theme of what we're looking for. We'll only ask you to keep poofing the purchases back and forth."

Loki's jaw twitched. He stayed quiet and followed the women to some seats in front of the dressing rooms. It was different from other stores they had shopped at. Almost as if they were about to watch a show.

A woman in the store's uniform came up with a big smile. She was skinny, redheaded and wore loads of red lipstick. "Hi! I'm Kate! Can I help you with anything?"

Darcy stepped forward while Jane and Loki took the two seats awkwardly. "Uh, yeah. I need something _flirtatious_ for my friend here. Nothing _too_ glamorous, either. Some lace, but don't over do it. And nothing see through."

The woman, Kate, looked over at Jane and Loki. "Which friend?"

Darcy lifted a brow, "The female one." She said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest casually. Jane looked to her side at Loki, who was shooting daggers into the coworker's chest.

"Ah, alrighty then!" Kate said cheerily.

"I'm assuming you know Susan Lewis?" Darcy asked, keeping her eyes locked with Kate's. "My mother."

Kate looked a bit nervous then, shifting her weight from one six inch heel to the other. "Susan Lewis? Your mother? Y-yes, of course! She's a wonderful woman, really!"

Darcy replied, "Yes, and I'm sure she'd be highly disappointed if we weren't pleased while shopping here. She's recommended this place to tons of her friends and employers."

Kate almost broke out in a sweat. "I'll make sure your time here is spent well, Miss Lewis!" She tucked some red locks behind her ear. "Champagne anyone?"

"No thanks, Kate," Darcy smiled earnestly and the woman scurried away.

"That was . . ." Jane swallowed and looked forward, searching for the right words.

"Incredibly arousing?" Loki suggested, sitting sloppily in the uncomfortable chair. His tone was flat, as usual, but made Darcy smirk anyway.

"What can I say? Mommy's a bit of a beast in the blue blood world." Darcy said simply and helped Jane to her feet in a fast motion. "Ready to put on a show?"

Jane's eyes darted towards Darcy. "Show? What are you talking about?"

"_La Cerise Douce_ was an old show house back in the day. Well, back in _France_, that is. That's what this place is sort of based off. Putting on a show in lingerie. Ever seen the movie _Burlesque_? That's pretty much it."

Jane took a second look at the ruby red curtain. It wasn't like a complete opera performance curtain, but the 'show' theme was still heavy in the air. "Maybe we got enough at Victoria's Secret . . ."

"We only bought two outfits there. Plus, like, three bras and two pairs of hot underwear." Darcy said and walked over to a shelf. She stripped a dark purple lingerie corset outfit off a mannequin and tossed it to Jane. "Try that one on. It's a nice color."

Jane opened her mouth as if to disagree, but she quickly snapped it shut and walked forward. She moved the curtain aside enough for her to slip past and disappear to put on the lingerie.

Beginning the wait, Darcy took Jane's seat next to Loki and sat back, feeling her phone buzz. Loki glanced over, watching her take out her phone and check the alert notice. She read the text message from her mother: "I TLKD 2 HIM & HE SEEMS SUPER EXCITED, HON! I'LL TLK 2 U SOON 2 GET A GOOD PLACE & TIME FOR THE DATE! TTYL!" Darcy groaned inwardly and tucked her phone away in her jacket pocket. The things she did for her friends. It'd surely be the death of her.

The working woman, Kate, made her way back over with a silver tray of champagne and a small matching silver container of fresh looking pistachios. She went straight for Loki, completely ignoring Darcy. "Pistachio, sir?" Kate cooed, giving a five-star smile while she leaned over slightly.

Loki looked uncomfortable with the lack of space the woman set between them. He set a tight smile across his lips, "I—"

"He's allergic to nuts." Darcy cut in innocently. "He gets really red and puffy all over. It's almost impossible to see those pretty green eyes of his when his face looks like a huge, _fat_ pink wad of cotton candy." Loki turned his head towards Darcy sharply. He gave her a look, one she ignored sweetly.

Kate stood straight and moved the tray away from Loki as if he were on fire. "Oh! I'm so sorry!" She went to take the pistachios and champagne away, but Darcy stopped her quickly and took the food for herself. Kate looked a bit conflicted, but just continued on her way.

Darcy placed the pistachios on the small side table near her and didn't touch them. She went back to examining the ends of her brown hair while humming a faint tune.

Loki asked, "Why did you _take_ them if you weren't going to _eat_ them?"

"You ask the lady if she wants something first, not the dude." Darcy told him curtly, "What if _I_ wanted some champagne or stupid pistachios?"

"But _you_ didn't." Loki smirked to himself, "Maybe she happened to find me more luxurious and that's why she came to _me_ first."

Darcy kept staring at the ends of her hair, "Oh, yeah, I'm s0-o-o-o sure that's the reason."

Loki asked, "Since I'll be bunking in your bed for the next few weeks . . ." He looked over at Kate helping a costumer check out. "You wouldn't mind possibly a few others accompanying me, would you?"

"It's still_ my_ bed!" Darcy glared at him, hoping he was only joking. She didn't find happiness in the thought of returning to bed that had been used to satisfy the god of mischief in sexual ways. _Very_ sexual ways.

"The couch?" Loki raised his brows at her.

"The nothing!" Darcy snapped and turned her head forward to find Jane peeking her head through the curtain, looking a bit nervous. "Jane! Come out so we can see!"

Jane shook her head, "I don't know about this."

Darcy sighed, "You never know about this." She folded her arms across her chest and crossed her legs in the lady-like fashion. "Come on, work the stage."

Biting her lip, Jane stepped through the curtain slowly, revealing her petite frame decorated nicely in the purple lingerie. She walked forward a little more, hugging herself as if to keep her modesty from running away. Jane looked at Darcy and Loki, lifted her brows with plead. "Well?"

Darcy was scanning her over, eying her down like she was grading a test. Loki only sat in silence, only some what enjoying the view. It was an interesting outfit, but if she were_ his_ woman, he could think of other things that would work for him ten times better. For example—nothing.

"Move the arms." Darcy instructed absently, still debating whether this was a nice fit or not. Jane did so hesitantly and Darcy found her answer. "No, it doesn't work."

Jane looked down at herself, taken back. "Really? Why not?"

Kate returned with another woman pushing a rack of clothes Darcy had ordered previously; nothing transparent, not too much lace and definitely not over doing it. "Oh, it looks _mar_velous!" Kate gushed, flipping some of her red hair over her shoulder. The woman next to her, blonde with the same fake smile as Kate's, nodded in agreement.

"No," Darcy started towards the rack of lingerie. "Not that one."

"Why not? It's perfect!" Kate shot a smile in Jane's direction.

"We want her to catch the male eye," Darcy said simply. "Not smash her boobs into pancakes. Look at them! There's nothing there."

Kate and the woman next to her—'Louis' written on her name tag—exchanged a look. "I suppose we could work with something different!" Kate was smiling again. "Louis, grab the powder blue one."

Darcy looked at the outfit Louis held out. It was an innocent shade of blue. She looked back at Jane, standing awkwardly. "This one?"

Jane tilted her head to one shoulder lightly, "It's a nice color and doesn't reveal _as_ much."

Darcy looked at Loki, "You're the one with the penis. How does this look?"

Loki rested his cheek in the palm of his hand, an arm propped up on the armrest of his hard cushioned chair. He gave it a lazy observation and said, "It's not my taste, but it might work."

Darcy tossed it at Jane and began going through the rack herself. Jane tried on countless lingerie outfits, some in two pieces and other in corset forms. One after another. Some more revealing than others. Most were somewhat modest. Jane liked some definitely more than others. Darcy got a good laugh out of most of them. Jane only glared at her and tried on another one.

Loki had grown bored of seeing Jane in sexy outfits when she tried on the fifth one. It was beginning to become redundant. It wasn't like he hadn't seen all of that before. Then there were the two women that were helping Jane and Darcy—Kate and Louis. Loki felt the urge to destroy a small island. They never left him alone.

"We have a mens' section! Would you like to try something on too?" Louis asked with a big smile, standing next to a frantically nodding Kate.

Loki gave them a look, "No, I don't think I would like to."

"Most men that buy our outfits say they are just spectacular!" Kate urged on, earning a look from Darcy.

Darcy spoke up, giving Loki an innocent look. "Yeah, why don't you try something on?"

Loki looked at her, his eyes narrowing slightly. "No."

"Oh, come on, honey!" Darcy got up from her seat she took only moments ago, and placed herself on Loki's lap. Her arms wrapped loosely around his neck and she smiled. "You know our sex life could use a little more _spark_ in it!"

Louis and Kate looked over at Darcy with lips parted, baffled. Darcy knew she wasn't as fabulous looking as they were. She wasn't nearly as skinny, didn't have the best looking hair or nose either. It didn't come as a surprise when the women looked like Loki was insane to chose _her_. Then again, Darcy had a feeling they weren't even really seeing Loki—as himself. He was using one of his mind trick powers, causing their view on him to be percepted as someone different.

Someone less evil.

Loki had an annoyed expression across his face, but it soon faded when he decided he'd play along. Darcy obviously hadn't learned her lesson the last time she instigated him. "I suppose you're right." He said smoothly, looking at her with eyes dancing in mischief. "I'll try something on for you, if I pick out what you try on for me."

Darcy lifted a brow then grinned, "Fine." She got off his lap and as they waited for Jane to come out in the red lingerie outfit they picked together, the two searched for what they'd be making the other wear.

Loki walked along the shelves and came across an outfit in a dark shade of green he grew instantly fond of. It wasn't lacking too much material, leaving some mystery to the eye. It had the perfect amount of black lace and looked rather silky. Loki took it and saw Darcy was already standing in front of their chairs, waiting for him to finish.

Darcy hadn't gotten a clear view of what Loki had picked for her, but she made sure to pick something just right for him: a pair of nicely fitted briefs, made out of only the '_finest'_ material. They were small, too. "Ready for this?" She asked, giving him a smile that made Loki question if this was such a bad thing.

"Ready when you are, _sweetie_." Loki replied coolly as they switched the items of clothing.

Loki locked the mens' dressing room stall door and looked down at the fabric of clothing in his hands. It was small, and didn't look like it would cover much. He stretched it and found it to be quite flexible. He rolled his eyes, feeling ridiculous, and began stripping his clothing.

Darcy, across the store in a stall near Jane's, held up her dark green lingerie clothing. It was in a corset fashion, with black lace and a silky bodice. She gave her reflection a flat expression. _Seriously?_ She thought, _of course it would be green_!

Minutes later, Jane exited the dressing room and out through the curtains. She expected to see Darcy and Loki sitting in their chairs, examining her in the new outfit. However, the chairs were empty. Only Kate and Louis stood there, chatting quietly amongst themselves. Jane looked around, but didn't see either two of the people she came in with. Just the two or three costumers in the late hour wondering aimlessly through the store. "Uhm," Jane spoke, "Where did my friends go?" She asked the two women that looked at her then with a smile.

"They went to try some things on." Kate answered kindly.

"Try some things on?" Jane questioned, a brow raised.

The red curtains were abruptly yanked open and Darcy appeared, breathing as if she were dying. "Ugh, I can't breathe in this thing! Who the hell wears something in _this_ design?"

Both of Jane's brows raised then, a smile growing across her face. "Wow, Darce."

Darcy ran her fingers through her hair, bringing it away from her flustered face. "Don't remind me." She managed, walking tiredly towards Jane.

"Who_ wears_ this?" Loki demanded suddenly across the store from the mens' dressing room.

Darcy and Jane, plus the employees, turned their heads in his direction. Jane covered her mouth instantly, eyes widened in shock. Darcy's jaw dropped and she mentally gave herself a pat on the back. She had done a better job than she thought.

Loki walked—_stormed_—over towards the women with a hard expression across his face. He was bare, except for the black briefs. They were a small size, roughly reaching mid-thigh. To compliment the nice item of clothing, Loki's torso was lean and strong. Due to his to height, he muscular in a lanky sort of way, opposite his brother. Darcy couldn't help but notice the way his round edged muscles moved and flexed as he walked to them.

"Loki," Jane breathed, feeling highly uncomfortable with seeing her boyfriend's brother more than half naked. "Why are you in those?"

Loki stopped only a few feet away from Darcy and Jane. He eyed Darcy down quickly, taking in his creation. It made him smirk despite his hatred for the undergarments he was currently wearing. Darcy didn't look half bad in lingerie corsets; even _with_ her glasses on. She stood with a hand on her hip, glaring at Loki. He caught the way her body shaped in the material. He ran his eyes down her legs, up her arms, across her neck and watched her pressed and pushed up breasts move when she breathed. Fighting fire with fire was a rare, guilty pleasure.

"The same reason she's in that." Loki answered Jane finally, tearing his eyes away from Darcy and setting them on Jane. "That outfit works better than the rest, by the way."

"Really?" Jane smiled and tried not to stare at Loki below the waist.

Darcy nodded, "It does look good." She said while analyzing the ruby red outfit Jane was dressed in. It went along with Jane's chocolate eyes and light brown locks. Her skin looked illuminated against the strong color.

"It isn't that uncomfortable either!" Jane said, looking down at herself in approval.

"Great, let's buy it!" Darcy said and turned to head for her wallet, eager to leave the store and fall face first into her couch for some sleep.

"Wait a minute!" Jane blurted and all eyes went on her. "Why are you and Loki dressed like that?"

"Oh, it was a stupid thing . . ." Darcy waved it off and Loki silently agreed. "Let's just get the red one and go!" She put on a smile that didn't reassure.

Jane folded her arms over her chest, "Let's make it something besides stupid then." She said deviously. Jane sat in one of the chairs and crossed her legs politely. "You guys got to judge me. It'd only be fair—"

"Yes, it'd only be _fair_, Jane." Loki put himself next to Darcy and smiled. "Who wore it better?"

Darcy gaped at him, "Excuse me? This wasn't a competition."

Loki looked at her calmly, "I thought it was obvious, darling."

Darcy glared, "Are you capable of _not_ cheating?"

"Of course," Loki glanced back over at Jane, Louis and Kate. "But that wouldn't be much fun, now would it?"

"Play fair and you might actually be surprised." She resorted, stepping forward. "There's more of a challenge that way."

Loki folded his arms across his chest. Something in him put a weight in the pit of his stomach, pushing him to fight back with all he had. _She_, herself, was the challenge.

In most cases, Loki found it quite easy to push aside a fight. He thought before he acted. That was something he had on Thor, something he did better than his brother. If you were going to do something—do it right. However, with Darcy, things like that took a while to process through his mind. Loki felt an instant pulse in his body to attack and win the fight before she could. The fact irked him more than most things did.

Darcy placed her hands upon her hips confidently, pointing out a hip in the most girlish manner she could. She smirked and said, "Yeah, who wore it better, Jane?"

Jane laughed a little, "Well, it's a pretty big draw here. I mean, you look _great_—and Loki looks pretty good himself."

"Excuse Louis and I for saying so," Kate began.

"But most men can't pull off the briefs like your friend there can." Louis finished with a smile matching Kate's.

Jane whipped her head around, "And not many women could pull off that outfit without Darcy's boobs, now_ could_ they?"

Darcy grew a little stiff. Had Jane just shot a snarky comment at two employees _without_ apologizing half way through? "Uhm . . ." Behind her, Loki's brows lifted to his hairline as he silently agreed.

"I . . . we . . ." Kate looked at Louis for some help, but the blonde only looked down at her feet. "We, err, didn't say Miss Lewis _couldn't_ pull off our clothing or anything . . ."

Jane stood and smiled tightly, "Yeah, of course. I understand." She looked at Loki and Darcy, quickly averting her eyes beyond them and made her way into the dressing room.

An awkward silence fell through the store and Darcy cleared her throat, breaking it as fast as she could. "I think it's safe to say I won this one, hot stuff." She gave Loki a pat on his cold chest and walked back into the dressing rooms after Jane.

Loki watched her disappear and then turned back to the two women standing guiltily side by side behind the chairs. "We'll be taking the red one." He said and went to get dressed himself.

* * *

Jane walked quietly along side Darcy and Loki, staring down at the sidewalk. They passed the cars and street lights, the clothing stores and others walking by. She hadn't planned on speaking until Darcy looked at her.

"Thanks for that, by the way." She said as they crossed the street's cross walk.

Jane gave her a small smile, replying quietly, "Anytime."

"Why'd you do it?" The question came long, quiet moments later.

"You didn't deserve the way those women treated you. It was stupid of me, really. I know you can defend yourself pretty well—I just had to say something before I snapped." Jane confessed, tucking some hair behind her ear.

Darcy chuckled, "You_ did_ sort of snap."

Jane looked up, laughing. "Yeah, I guess I did." She turned her head to Darcy as they continued walking. "It felt nice."

Darcy laughed lightly, the breeze picking up through the chilly night air. It brushed her hair back across her shoulders and Darcy felt her cheeks get a little colder. She glanced at Jane, smiling to herself while she looked back down at her feet. Loki walked behind them caring their few number of bags, the street lights reflecting off his green eyes as he watched the cars pass by. "Want to grab some hot chocolate?" Darcy suddenly asked.

Jane gave a considering expression, "Sounds good to me. My hands could use some warmth."

The women looked back at Loki who just shrugged, "As long as I can stay in my clothes." Darcy and Jane shared a laugh and hooped their arms through Loki's, continuing on to the Starbucks only a few stores down.

Darcy was listening to something Jane had been saying when her shoulder was brushed against someones rather roughly. She stopped to keep from tumbling and looked up, meeting face to face with her soon-to-be date.

Harry Osborn smiled widely, "Darcy?"

"Harry . . ." Darcy licked her lips, knowing Jane and Loki had stopped and were watching her converse with the stranger. _Just my luck_, she thought grimly.

"I didn't expect to see you so soon!" Harry said, scratching the back of his head. His smile never faded. "How are you? Your mom never stops talking about you! I haven't seen you in ages."

Darcy put on a weak smile, "Oh, you know, the same as always!" She faked a nonchalant laugh, one Harry went along with. "You've been alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, just fine." Harry chuckled, "I mean, wow! You look great!"

"Thanks," Darcy put her hands behind her back uncomfortably. "You don't look so bad yourself. My mom talks about you pretty frequently too. I can see why!" Harry laughed and she said, "Oh, uh, these are my friends. Jane and Loki. Guys, this is Harry Osborn."

Harry shook hands with the two politely, "Any friends of Darcy's must be great!"

"So, I'll have to call you later and we can schedule that super fun date we're supposed to have. Mother's wishes n' all." Darcy said, trying to keep her voice steady and gleeful.

"Yeah," Harry nodded, sliding a hand in his expensive looking coat pocket. Underneath the coat was a nice tailored suit, and a brief case held tightly in the other hand. "Yeah, absolutely. I'll be looking forward to it."

Darcy smiled, "Have a nice night, Harry."

"You too, Darcy." Harry said with one last smile and went on his way.

Jane waited until he was a good distance away before asking, "Who was _that_?"

"I introduced you, didn't I?" Darcy said in a sigh, going on in the way they had been headed in the first place.

"You know what I mean. _Who_ is he?" Jane urged on, catching up with Darcy.

"An old friend." Darcy answered shortly as they neared up the Starbucks. "One my mom is desperately trying to set me up with."

Jane looked back at Harry's figure slowly growing smaller as he walked away. Darcy was already entering the cafe when Jane added, "He's cute."

Darcy snorted, "Yeah, a real deal breaker."

Loki held the door open for Jane, watching the man fade away through the people and dark night. There was a sense that tweaked as if he should have something to say, something to feel. But there was nothing. Nothing inside. Loki held no expression as he turned his head away, following after Jane into the warm smelling building.

* * *

A/N: **so, that was an adventure! haha. **

**a quick note : i _did_ make up Jane's past myself. it just sort of popped into my head, depressing or not. sorry if her past irritates some. XP**

**the way i see it . . . Thor, all mighty prince of Asgard with this huge ego, gets dropped down onto Earth and falls in love with simple — yet beautiful — Jane Foster. he sees a different side of things, and for once expeirences humility. not only _literally_ do they come from two different worlds, but its sort of that typical romance thing going on. **

**now, for Loki, it's gotta be at least the _slightest_ bit different, right?** **that being said, he eventually falls for Darcy. the girl that could have it all, but choses to try and control her own life. she has these uber rich parents and crazy attitude. unlike Jane, who is timid and hella sweet, also coming from a broken family. Loki was always the brother in the dust. he gets with the girl that can get just about anyone's attention — and could practically scare the shit out of them. **

**see how it balances out? Darcy is the Thor in the relationship. though that might sound bad, it just takes a little thinking to get it.** **basically, both brothers get what they needed.**

**also, i guess you could consider the ending to this chapter a huge crossover. lmao. i am sorry about that. but, alas, i do not like coming up with characters of my own to the fanfics i write. they are fanfics — so i try and stay to the characters already created as much as possible. it was sort of hard adding in Jane and Darcy's parents to the mix. but i forced myself. it had to be done for the sake of this story.**

**i thought Harry Osborn would be a good character to use. if anyone was confused at who Harry _is_, he would be Peter Parker's best friend in _Spiderman_. (i really do hope you people knew this. lol. i mean, he was played by the sexy James Franco!)Harry is a rich heir, handsome, and was perfect for Darcy's blind date. in my opinion. since i created this type of blue blood family life for Darcy, i figured, why not have Harry's father be a sort of _acquaintance _to Mr. and Mrs. Lewis? It would only make sense, right? they're all involved in the heavy money! **

**anyway. i really hope i didn't make too many pissed at me for this crapy chapter. lol. **

**please, please tell me what you guys thought! :) **


	6. Naughty and Nice

A/N: **Wow. I haven't been uploading in forever. I am a Fanfic Author failure! And if any of my "Iridescent" readers see this-next chapter WILL happen. I promise you! Lol. **

**Anyway, so I'm sorry about this chapter, guys. There will be pretty un-real stuff going on in this one. Such as the fact, Agent Coulson isn't dead. Lol Sorry, but he just had to be in the chapter, and he isn't even in it long. Bare with me! Also, some of the Avengers might seem out of character, but that was for pure easy writing purposes. There had to be at least _some_ weird and 'comical' stuff going on. Let's just play pretend. Lol.** **I'm really sorry if you end up totally hating this chapter. I will agree, it's not my best. I apologize for the it's length and sudden fast pace towards the end.**

**Well, anyway, I do hope that at least some like this. Next chapter I'll be finishing soon. That one should be a little more interesting. ;D**

* * *

Naughty and Nice

* * *

Loki woke from his sleep.

A dreamless, deep sleep. He closed his eyes tight, exhaling a breath against the soft fabric of his pillow. The bedroom he had been sleeping in for almost two weeks now was dark, but illuminated by the soft blue light of the moon outside. The light cast an obscured shadow across the rumpled sheets and blankets covering Loki from the waist down. He propped himself up on an elbow and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Loki glanced at the clock sitting on the bedside table, reading 10:00 in big green letters. He blinked his eyes a few times and leaned back on both elbows, looking at the bedroom door. At its base, the bright lights from the kitchen and living room cracked through the darkness in which he found pleasant sleep.

_Darcy_, he thought with a groan. Loki let his head drop against his pillow and then whipped the covers away from his legs. In a swift movement, he was up and headed for the door tiredly. When opened and Loki took his few steps out of the dark bedroom, he instantly smelled something sweet and enticing.

"You're up late." Darcy cut through the quiet, sitting on the floor near the couch with a large amount of colorful paper and boxes.

"Maybe you woke me." Loki suggested, almost coldly.

"Doubt it." Darcy replied absently, taping some paper to a box and then taking a sip out of a mug sitting on the coffee table. "You can sleep like a rock when you're tired enough."

Loki decided on grabbing something to drink of his own instead of arguing with Darcy Lewis. It was utterly tiring at times. She was good at arguing for the most part, always contradicting or challenging—never exactly concerned with winning. It wouldn't matter anyhow. Loki knew she had a chance, but chances could be crushed faster than dreams.

Darcy noticed Loki heading for the fridge. She guessed he had been extremely tired this time around. He usually slept with a shirt, a plain soft shirt. The shirts were usually in dark colors, only one white in the stack. Tonight, however, his upper half was bare and the dark gray pajama pants he wore were low on his hips. All in all—with his messy hair—Darcy saw he looked unraveled. Loki always appeared to be well kept, for reasons she knew not. The sound of the fridge being pulled open, the glass jars sitting in the shelves on the door rattling sharply, Darcy was brought back from her thoughts. "I made you some hot chocolate."

Loki heard her voice in its soft tune and looked down at a mug sitting near the stove. Heat radiated off the mug, decorated with snowflakes and a jolly Santa. Inside was a soft brown colored liquid, small white puffs floating on its surface. Loki reached for the mug—

"It's hot, you know." Darcy warned from the living room, watching his actions. Loki took the mug fully in one large palm of his hand and blew the heat evaporating from the top with a simple look across his face. Darcy's jaw dropped, "How do you _do_ that?"

Loki took a sip of his drink. It didn't taste as bad as he assumed, to which he was glad. He didn't find much of a point in trying to sleep again for the next hour; the things going on out in the living room appealed to him more. "How'd you know I'd be up to drink this?" He asked, taking a seat on the couch comfortably with his mug in both hands.

Darcy shrugged a shoulder and taped some more paper, "I had a feeling." She looked up at him from her place on the floor. "Are you going to tell me how you've mastered the touch of heat?"

"It isn't really important." Loki responded lowly, thinking of something quick to ask before she went on. Sadly, he wasn't fast enough.

"No, I want to know." She gave him a narrow-eyed look. "I made you that drink, it's the least you could do."

Loki looked up exasperatedly. She was impossible. Sighing, he met her eyes with his own and held out his hand.

Darcy looked down at the body part, a brow raised. "Is there a secret spell engraved in your skin or what?"

"Just watch." He replied, his patience tipping on empty.

Darcy watched quietly. Her lips parted when the skin on Loki's hand began to turn blue. The color crawled its way up his palm to his fingertips until the entire thing looked like it suffered from severe blood loss. After a slight moment of silence, Darcy set her eyes on Loki who looked as if he might have been holding his breath. "I always liked Smurfs."

Loki's expression dropped. "What?"

"Smurfs." Darcy repeated and went on with her work. "They're these little blue people that sing and are sort of magical, I guess. I used to watch the cartoon when I was a kid all the time. I even had a Smurf night gown I wore to bed for, like, five weeks straight."

"I can assure you," Loki smirked halfheartedly. "I do not come from a race of _small_ blue people, and I definitely don't sing."

Darcy glanced up at him, "And what about the magical part? Can you pull a rabbit out of your hat or saw me in half through a box?"

Loki grimaced, "I don't like the idea of having wild animals roaming through items of my clothing. And I am afraid I couldn't saw you in half without causing the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. corporation pissing their pants."

Darcy snorted, "Yeah, point proven." She finished wrapping an average sized box with colorful stripped paper and set it aside. "Does that blue thing happen all over?"

"Yes." Loki answered and took a drink of the hot chocolate.

"Does it hurt?"

"No."

Darcy thought back to the time she asked Thor about the Frost Giants. She had been curious about it when he mentioned it once over a casual lunch gathering. He answered hesitantly, explaining they were very large creatures with blue skin and red eyes. After a brief pause, he informed her that Loki was born of their leader. Darcy had let the fact fade from her mind days later. It didn't seem worth remembering anyhow. It _did_, however, explain why Loki was able to touch and eat his extremely hot food right away. He used the ability to his advantage—like a built in cooling system.

"Don't you have school tomorrow?" Loki asked suddenly.

"I'm on break. Have been for the past few days." Darcy said flatly, knowing he was done with the blue conversation for now.

"Is that why you're up late wrapping boxes with ugly paper?" He questioned, watching her intently.

Darcy replied, "These are _presents_."

"Presents?" Loki lifted a brow, "For who?"

"For the whole team, really." Darcy answered with a light smile. "Jane, Bruce, Thor, Tony, Steve . . . all of them."

Loki thought a moment, "Why are you giving everyone presents?"

"Christmas is next week," Darcy gave him a look. "That's one of the main things people do on Christmas. They give people presents and act like one big happy family."

"Do all these silly decorations have to do with this holiday too?" Loki looked around the small apartment, lights dangling from the windows in every color possible. There was a tree in the shape of a triangle only a few feet away from the living room. It, too, had colorful lights and small objects hanging from its branches. Loki remembered coming home to the sight only a few days ago. He hadn't bothered to ask what all the stuff was for then.

"Exactly," Darcy said and held out the small roll of tape, "Wanna help?"

Loki was quiet for a moment, but didn't have anything better to do. He set his mug down on the coffee table next to Darcy's and took the tape.

Darcy tried not to shudder at the touch of his smooth skin to her own. It wasn't a horrible feeling, but it caused a chilled shock through her bones. She believed it was the possibility she remembered how his hand looked when it was blue, and when he took the tape—brushing her palm in the process—she imagined it would be awfully cold.

"Uhm," Darcy closed her eyes tight for a second, regaining her sense of concentration. "Start with Clint's." She handed him a thin box.

"What's inside?" Loki asked, shaking it.

Darcy chuckled, "New gloves. He needs some really bad. His old ones have holes and smell like feet."

Loki's upper lip curled in disgust, "How interesting. Thank you for sharing." He took some of the paper with a yellow bear in a red shirt drawn all over it, smiling and eating honey. Loki got the scissors and began cutting. As he used the right amount of paper he cut off to wrap around Clint's present, Loki asked, "When are you going to give Jane and Thor's their presents? They've left, if I'm not mistaken."

"They went to go visit Erik for Christmas. They'll be back before New Years and then they'll leave on their 'couple vacation' until duty calls once again." Darcy said simply, "I'll just give them their presents sooner or later."

"And what about all of these?" Loki asked, glancing over at the growing pile of different sized presents.

"Well, maybe tomorrow I'll head over to the Tower." Her eyes traveled up to Loki's face, covered in a diligent expression. "I think you should come. I could use a little help caring around the bag for all these presents."

Loki caught her in a stare, "If you'd like."

Darcy smirked, "Good. I wrote your name on all the presents anyway." She picked up the present she had wrapped for Steve and Loki saw where she scribbled both their names under the word "from".

"I guess have no choice then," He cracked a light grin that faded fast and went back to wrapping Clint's present.

"Really? You'll come?" Darcy's face lit up in a smile. "I thought you'd be scarred from going anywhere with me that involved you caring bags since, well—since the whole lingerie situation and stuff."

Loki looked at her blankly. "Will I get to stay in my clothes? Will you challenge me again with your silly games?"

"I promise your clothes will stay on and I'll play nice." Darcy held out her pinky finger.

Loki kept the blank expression. "What do you expect me to do with that?"

Darcy restrained from making any looks. It sometimes took a small reminder she wasn't dealing with an average human being—but an Asgardian god. One of which, didn't know a lot about pinky-promises. "You lock your pinky finger with mine."

Slowly, he asked, "_Why_?"

"It's something us Midgardians do as a sort of seal-the-deal symbolization." She answered with a wiggle of her pinky.

Loki's sigh faded into a small laugh. "This is ridiculous." He stuck out his pinky and locked it with Darcy's.

Darcy almost laughed at how much larger his pinky was compared to hers. If they locked any harder, she was almost sure he would be capable of breaking her finger with a simple twist. "Yeah, but I figured we should take our relationship to the next level: pinky-promises."

He grinned, "Should I be honored?"

She returned the grin, "Very."

"And scared?"

"Probably."

Loki chuckled and reached for a new box to wrap. It was extremely small compared to the rest. "Is this Thor's?" He asked almost hopefully.

Darcy looked at the present he held and laughed, "No that would be Natasha's."

"What kind of present is this small?" Loki questioned and gave it a shake.

"I got her a gift card for Victoria's Secret." Darcy informed him mindlessly, trying hard to get a present wrapped just right.

Loki dropped the box and reached for a different one. "How do you know they'll like what they get?" He asked her, "How did you know what they wanted?"

Darcy stopped what she was doing for a moment and took a sip of her now warm chocolate drink. "Funny story actually. . ."

* * *

_Two Days Ago . . ._

* * *

Darcy walked a little further down the hall and then sighed, a bit over dramatically. "Pepper,what are we doing?"

Pepper Potts looked back over her shoulder at Darcy with a smile and stopped for a moment, "This happens every year. Usually it's just me—but you looked awfully bored with Jane at home packing, so I figured some wondering around the Tower would do you some good."

"Yes, but _what_ are we doing?" She asked, a feeling of irritation for elevators burning inside. Darcy never realized how slow elevators could really be until they were on one every five minutes.

"We're collecting information," Pepper said simply, holding her clipboard close to her chest. Her ponytail began to sway across her back when she continued to walk once again.

"Information?" Darcy echoed, "Aren't there computers for that?"

Pepper let out a small laugh, "It's more personal this way."

Darcy almost jogged to catch up with the blonde. "What kind of information do you have in mind, Pepper?"

Pepper stopped in front of Tony Stark's office door. She turned her head towards Darcy with a hand placed gingerly on the door handle. "Christmas wishes, of course."

_Like a Christmas List_? Darcy questioned inwardly. When she noticed Pepper had already opened the office door and was inside, Darcy hurried in to follow.

"Pepper?" Tony hung up on whoever he had been on call with and looked beyond Pepper. "And . . . Darcy?" He sat back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. "Is something wrong or am I just lucky?"

Pepper rolled her eyes, "What do you want for Christmas?" Darcy noted the flat tone Pepper used and smirked. Not many talked to their bosses in such a way, but she knew there was more to their relationship than that.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Tony chuckled, and looked to the ceiling in thought. "I want a new screen cover for my phone, the new Sherlock Holmes movie on DVD, an expensive tooth brush and a pony."

Pepper glanced up from scribbling down the items on the paper secured upon her trusty clipboard. "Is that all?"

"Hmm . . ." Tony pursed his lips and rubbed his chin. He knew he could get everything he wanted himself anyway, but it was still fun to play along with this Christmas event. It had been Pepper's idea in the first place, and Tony never wanted to upset a lady. "Yeah, pretty much." He sat up and propped his elbows on his desk. "And for you, Pepper?"

"That'll be all, thank you." Pepper gave him a tight smile and Darcy followed her out the door.

Darcy smiled to herself as she walked along side Pepper to the nearest elevator. That hadn't been as bad as she expected. "Who's next?" She asked while they stood behind closing elevator doors.

Moments later, Darcy was standing in front of Steve who was smiling madly; practically ear to ear. "Really? You want to know what _I_ want for Christmas? Gosh, that's so nice!"

Pepper smiled, a small laugh escaping her lips. She heard Darcy snort in amusement and quickly went on with the business at hand, "Yeah, I hope that's not a problem."

"No, no, not at all!" Steve's smile only grew as he put his hands on his hips, watching the ground while thinking the question through thoroughly before he answered. He looked up at them when done and said, "Well, I sort of want some more clothes—you know, ones that fit in more. Oh, and I saw this really interesting looking lamp at the store the other day. It had these colorful lumps of stuff floating around inside—"

"A lava lamp?" Darcy suggested.

Steve pointed at her, "Yes! That's what they called it!" He smiled off dazedly, arms at his sides. "I like those."

Darcy tried not to laugh much as they went on with the 'mission'. Steve's dreamy expression ran through her mind on high speed. She knew the Avengers—what they looked like, who they were, what they were capable of—but knowing what they wanted for Christmas was like a new opened door. One Darcy found to be quite humorous.

Clint was sitting on a comfortable sofa in one of the lofts in the Stark Tower. His thumbs worked the knobs on his the Xbox controller skillfully, and effortlessly. To his dismay, his player on MW3 was shot and while they played the Kill Cam to replay how this unfortunate event occurred, Pepper and Darcy entered in quietly.

"Mr. Barton." Pepper walked and Darcy followed.

"Afternoon, Pepper." Clint said tonelessly, shooting invisible arrows with his eyes into the television screen. He hadn't one a single match since he got on online over two hours ago. It was beginning to look hopeless.

"Darcy and I have come to see what you'd like for Christmas." Pepper said happily.

"For Christmas?" Clint lifted a brow and nudged the control knobs a few times to start a different match. "What I want is to win at _least_ one round at this stupid game." He said quietly, practically beating the controller into oblivion.

Darcy looked back at the flat-screen hung on the wall, Clint's player desperately shooting with almost perfect aim. She guessed aiming perfectly and shooting down exactly who he wanted was a bit of a different challenge when it came to doing it on a computerized level. Darcy placed her eyes back on Clint and noticed he wore his gloves over his hands. "Try playing without the gloves."

Clint looked at her for a moment and then down at his hands. He had forgotten he still had them on. Pausing his game, Clint unstrapped his gloves and tossed them to Darcy. "Mind holding those while I test out your idea?"

Darcy didn't have time to protest before he was playing again. This time, his lips broke out in a victorious smirk. "Good thinking, Lewis." Clint said as he was able to shoot more soldiers, jump, run and load different guns all the more faster.

Ignoring the nasty smell of his worn out gloves, Darcy said a thanks and watched the screen. Without the thick fabric of the black gloves, Clint's thumbs and index fingers were granted all the more space to roam without negative friction.

Pepper gave Darcy a light, impressed nudge with a smile on her face. She then turned her attention back to Clint, "Is there anything else you'd prefer for Christmas?"

Clint bit his lip, leaning forward to place his elbows on his thighs while the game became even more intense. "I'd like a few new CDs—Muse, Motley Crue, Notwist, 30 Seconds to Mars, The White Stripes—you know, something like that. I wouldn't mind an iTunes gift card either, maybe a few new video games. Oh, and—" He paused as he shot down three different players with delicate speed. The round ended with a win for Clint and he looked over at Pepper. "I absolutely _love_ Skittles."

Darcy and Pepper were back in the hall, on their way to find the next target. Darcy was thankful she asked Pepper for some hand sanitizer and the blonde had some on her, _and_ in a nice scent. Clint's gloves reeked of sweat and something else Darcy didn't know what exactly to call it.

Natasha and Agent Coulson rounded a corner and were met head on by Pepper and Darcy. "Agent, Miss Romanoff," Pepper greeted with a smile, "We were just looking for you!"

"Oh?" Agent Coulson lifted a brow, "Is there something wrong, Miss Potts?"

Pepper shook her head, "Oh, no, no, nothing like that, sir." She got her pen ready in hand. "We'd like to know what you two wanted for Christmas."

Before Coulson could reply, Natasha spoke up firmly. "For Christmas? I'd like a Pulse Rifle, M-4 Carbine, P90 PDW, _Commando_ Assault Rifle, NCM Assault Rifle, a SWAT HK Machine Gun," Natasha breathed for a second, putting a finger to her lip in thought. "And possibly a new bath robe."

Pepper, Darcy and Coulson all looked at her, dumbfounded. "Uh," Pepper picked up her jaw and attempted at a smile. "I'll see what we can do." Darcy bit her tongue and stayed quiet, only slightly worried for her wellbeing if she worked here any longer. "And for you, Coulson?"

Agent Coulson gave her a look, taking the same expression off the casual appearing Natasha. "After what she just said? A new bullet proof vest." Before he walked away, he added, "And possibly a raise."

"Have a nice day," Pepper said weakly before she and Darcy scurried away to the lab.

Through the window, Darcy could see Bruce talking to some other scientists, moving his hands as he did so and nodding occasionally. He looked a bit tired, but never let that stop him on a regular basis. "Want to get this one?" Pepper asked Darcy as they entered through glass doors.

Darcy smiled, "Sure." She accepted the clipboard Pepper handed her and took the pen in her hand. "Hey, Bruce!" Darcy was sure she looked the tiniest bit silly—wearing jeans, her t-shirt that was designated for work only, hair pulled up in a ponytail, her glasses constantly sliding a bit down her nose and a plastic badge ID Fury made her wear at all times pinned to her shirt any place visible. But on one hand, holding Pepper's clipboard made her feel a bit more important, like a certain symbolic weapon in her care. She might not wear pencil skirts and pull them off like Pepper to go along with the theme, but the clipboard was a nonverbal warning sign to anyone looking for trouble.

Bruce turned around, a polite smile bloomed when he saw Darcy and Pepper. "Darcy, Pepper, hello." He greeted, scratching the back of his head. The other scientists went back to their work and Bruce slid off his glasses, holding them gently between his fingers. "What brings you guys here?"

"We want to know what you would like for Christmas." Darcy said with a smile, preparing to write down his wishes.

Bruce chuckled, "What_ I_ want? It's okay, guys, you don't have to get me anything."

"Just lay it on us, Bruce. We've got just about everybody's wishes already." Darcy insisted, giving him an innocent pleading expression she knew he couldn't say no to.

"Alright, alright," Bruce laughed lightly and thought about what he wanted for Christmas. "Uh, well, I sort of want the Stephen King book _Misery_ and that other book called _American Psycho_ by Bret Easton Ellis. The movie _Inception_ was kind of cool — wouldn't mind having that one on DVD. I'd actually really like an autograph from Anthony Hopkins, but I won't get my hopes up for that one."

Darcy chuckled, "That all?"

Bruce nodded and took a seat in the desk chair by his legs, "Pretty much." He looked at his phone sitting on the desk and spoke up quickly before the women made their leave. "Oh, and do you know what Tony's doing? I was on the phone with him earlier because Fury had wanted to talk to us both, but he mumbled something about going to get a tan and then hung up out of nowhere."

Darcy looked over at Pepper, vaguely recalling Tony had been on the phone when they had walked into his office. Pepper let out a small laugh and averted her stare down to the floor for a moment. "Check his office when you get the chance."

"Ah, I see." Bruce chuckled, the noise descending more on the lines of 'I figured'. "Thanks, Pepper. You too, Darcy."

Darcy gave him a short wave as the left and skimmed her eyes over their list. It had grown pretty big over the last thirty minutes or so. "Pepper, are we really going to get all of this stuff?"

Pepper laughed, "Are you willing to buy a pony for Tony? Or a few guns or so for Natasha?"

"Negative, Miss Potts." Darcy replied with a lopsided smile, seeing the blonde's point in the matter.

"I just sort of pick at the list and see what's affordable or what they'll actually want the most in the long run. It's like buying presents for little kids." Pepper smirked, "But you don't have to spend your money or anything, Darcy."

Darcy shrugged a shoulder, "I don't know. It sounds kind of worth it to me." They continued down a hall near the back entrance to catch the next elevator.

One of the back doors opened and Thor popped through, smiling widely when he caught sight of Darcy. She had her eyes down, skimming over the list for a second time—more to amuse herself than anything else.

"Thor! I didn't think we'd be seeing you today." Pepper said casually, wearing her polite smile once again.

Darcy looked up, "Thor? I thought you were home helping Jane pack."

Thor continued his way over as he answered, "I was. We finished the packing for our trip but Jane had forgotten one of her favorite sweaters here, so I offered to come retrieve it before our leave tomorrow morning."

"Very kind of you." Pepper complimented and turned her head towards Darcy. "Do you want to get this one since he's here?"

Darcy's grinned, "Great idea, Pepper."

Thor looked from one woman to the other. "What is a great idea? No offense, Darcy, but your ideas can frighten me sometimes." He let out a low chuckle, but there was hesitance glittering across his eyes.

"It's nothing bad, Thor." Darcy laughed and clicked the pen. "What do you want for Christmas?"

"For . . . Christmas?" Thor repeated, uncertain. He was quiet in a second of thought, and then smiled with a nod, "Oh, Christmas! I'm sorry, I sometimes forget what it means when people mention it to me. Jane has been talking about it nonstop!"

Pepper laughed, "Well do you have any sort of idea what presents you would like?"

Thor flashed a toothy grin, "Are you two planning to buy me one?"

"Not unless you don't answer the question in the next fifteen seconds, big guy." Darcy informed him with a false threat.

"Oh! Right, okay." Thor nodded and folded his arms across his chest, lines of concentration creasing above his brows. A minute passed by and he finally popped his head up and said gleefully, "A Snuggie!"

Pepper and Darcy exchanged a look. "A . . . _Snuggie_?" Pepper questioned as politely as she could.

Darcy lifted a brow, "Like those blanket suit things they show on TV all the time?"

Thor nodded, "I saw one with my face on it! I like it." He gave each woman a pat on the shoulder. "Now, if you two ladies will excuse me, I have to go fetch a sweater now!" With that, he was off and headed for the lab.

Pepper looked slightly confused, watching Thor walk off. Darcy handed her back the clipboard and pen. "Don't worry, Pepper—you get used to it."

The two holiday-spirited women went on their way, searching high and low for Nick Fury. They had gotten a few more items added to the list from other workers Pepper insisted they pay half a mind to. Darcy had grown tired of the asking, she was ready for a lunch break. Or a _second_ lunch break, that is.

"Pepper," Darcy said in a sigh, "We aren't going to find him. Maybe he's on some secret mission somewhere. How about we just get him a gift card like everybody else does?"

Pepper shook her head, coming to a slow stop in one of the many halls of the tower alongside Darcy. They stood in front of another elevator, Darcy waiting for a response from Pepper. She spoke, slightly frustrated, "That just doesn't make sense. He was supposed to be here today! It's not like he has many friends—"

The men's restroom door abruptly opened and the women turned sharply, startled. Nick Fury was adjusting his belt when he looked up and caught a glimpse of Pepper Potts and the strange girl from out of his good eye. "Miss Potts." He said in his low, firm voice.

"Mr. Fury!" Pepper smiled brightly, "We were just looking for you!"

Fury narrowed his eye and straightened his stance, "Oh? And is there something wrong, Miss Potts?"

"Uh, no, sir . . ." Pepper looked down at her clipboard and readied her pen in her hand. "We were just wondering what you wanted for Christmas." Both women put on smiles, only slightly tinted with fear.

Fury was quiet, placing his hands on his hips and eyeing down each woman's face slowly. He cleared his throat, "For . . . _Christmas_? Miss Potts, what kind of nonsense is this? You know we're a bit too busy around here to be thinking about that sort of thing."

"Ugh." Darcy groaned.

A few more minutes of convincing, and the women had their list complete.

* * *

Loki looked at her blankly, "That wasn't a very funny story."

Darcy rolled her blue eyes, "Well your sense of humor is a bit off, if you hadn't noticed."

"That is completely untrue." He said as he finished wrapping a present. "I have a great sense of humor."

"Sure you do." She mused, chuckling to herself. "Your sense of humor is almost as remarkable as your sensitivity."

Loki gave her a clouded look. He was a great person . . . when he wanted to be. As if Darcy's words were set to be a challenge, Loki made a silent pledge to prove his sensitivity. And if he was lucky, he could do it without looking like a complete idiot.

* * *

Days later and Loki had managed to contemplate a genius plan to not only prove his amazing personality, but his holiday spirit as well.

"Loki." Darcy parked the car and undid her belt. "Why did you want me to drive you here again? Can't you just . . . _poof_?"

Loki rolled his eyes, "That would defeat the purpose."

"_What_ purpose?" Darcy exclaimed, highly confused. He had been cheery all morning. Hell, he had even made her breakfast and insisted she looked 'marvelous'. Darcy wasn't completely stupid. Granted, she wasn't as smart as Jane in some things — but Darcy was sure she knew when something was up with Loki by now. They _lived _together. Plus, she hadn't done her laundry in days and the only bottoms she had to wear were green sweat pants with the word "Oz" across her ass. Something told Darcy the morning hadn't been all truthful, especially the part about her looking marvelous. _God of lies_, she thought, _what are you gonna do_?

As Loki and Darcy exited her car, she noticed then her jacket had changed from casual . . . to incredibly_ not_ casual. Taking its place was a Santa themed jacket, complete with padding in the front to add to the illusion. Upon her head was a Santa hat, as well. A small bell jingling at its tip. Darcy glared, "What the hell, Loki!"

"You have to look the part." He said simply and made his way to the trunk to pull out a large bag.

"Oh, _great_." She grumbled, "Whose body is that?"

Loki sighed. "Darcy, dear, I'm really starting to believe you haven't the slightest idea about Christmas, after all. I'm not even from this forsaken planet and I — once again — know more than you."

Darcy watched him toss the back over his shoulder, gripping it tight with one hand. He shut the trunk and started towards the Stark Tower. She stood, frozen. Was Loki seriously going to—

"Are you coming or not?" Loki called. "There's a special on ancient Rome later that I would really like to see. I wouldn't have said I'd come if you were going to be super slow. So, if you wouldn't mind, please hurry up."

Okay, sure. Darcy had been excited when Loki agreed to go with her since she had written his name on the presents. Regardless. That didn't mean he had to change her clothes and kick in his jolliness. This wasn't what she was expecting.

Darcy sighed and hoped for the best.

Hours gone by and the two found themselves exhausted, sitting in their typical positions upon the old couch. Loki hadn't thought delivering presents would be that energy draining. They hadn't even walked most of the time. Loki also didn't find much enjoyment out of the whole thing. He didn't feel any warm essence grow in the pit of his stomach or around his cold heart. Nevertheless, watching others get a kick out of Darcy's wardrobe had made him crack a few smiles.

Still, Loki hadn't felt like he had proven his point to the T. He had tried to take planet Earth hostage, yes. But had he in the end? No. He was capable of turning a new leaf just as any other. If Tony Stark could stay loyal to one woman, then Loki could surely withhold himself from forcing a pedestrian to bow at his arrival. It hadn't been an issue so far.

* * *

The second part of Loki's grand scheme was set in motion as Christmas day came along.

Darcy was talking to her mom on the phone when there was a knock at her apartment door. "Loki, could you get that?" She called, Loki standing at the small kitchen counter with a magazine in his hands.

Loki glanced up and then away quickly. He set down the magazine and gave Darcy a convincing expression. "Oh . . ." He started for the bathroom. "I just forgot. I have to clean my ears."

The bathroom door slammed and Darcy lifted a brow. "Uh . . ." She tried to put the pieces together at what just happened, but decided against it. "Mom, I'll call you back." Before her mom could reply, Darcy clicked END and stood from her bed. She made her way over to the door and checked through the peep hole.

Standing outsider her door were Erik, Jane and Thor, all holding different deserts and presents, the smiles on their face filled with excitement.

With a slow movement, Darcy turned the knob and opened the door, unsure. "What are you guys—"

"Merry Christmas, Darcy!" Thor shouted quicker than the others, throwing his large arms around Darcy in a massive hug.

Darcy gasped for air, "Darcy needs air!" She pleaded.

Jane laughed alongside Erik as they made their way in. "Merry Christmas, Darce." Jane smiled.

It was Darcy's turn to smile. "What are you guys doing here?" She asked, giving Erik a small hug. "I thought you were out for the holidays?"

"We were," Thor nodded as they gathered around the kitchen. Jane set down the box of frosted cookies she brought and Thor instantly began digging in as he continued. "Loki invited us over." He said, cookie crumbs falling to the floor from his overly full mouth.

Erik chuckled, "He said he'd like us to celebrate it here with you for a few hours. It was surprising, really."

Jane agreed, "Very un-Loki of him."

"Eggnog?" came Thor's voice.

"I think you've had enough for the last three days." Jane answered with a flat tone.

Thor frowned, "You're killing me, woman."

Darcy looked from Thor to Jane.

"He's going through a small addiction." Jane clarified and changed the subject before it went too far. "So, where is Loki anyway?"

"He's . . . cleaning his ears." Darcy answered, earning a moment of silence before the three guests broke out in a laugh.

"No, seriously." Erik said, taking a seat on a barstool.

Darcy folded her arms across her chest, "Really! He's in the bathroom cleaning his ears!"

The front door opened suddenly, Loki walking through with a grocery bag in his hand. He smiled politely at the sight of the four figured in the kitchen. "Oh, hello." He greeted, noting to add a pitch of happiness to it. He began to unravel his scarf and said, "I bought some Eggnog."

Thor lifted his arms in utter bliss. "Yes!"

* * *

"Real funny stunt you pulled today."

Loki looked over at Darcy, the two of them sitting against the backboard of her bed watching a Christmas special on the family channel. Loki found the story quite interesting, never having been told a story about a dead father coming back as a snow man before. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Darcy noticed his gaze and caught his eyes. "Ha, ha."

Loki looked back to the small television. "I guess that makes me a pretty decent person with a good sense of humor and amazing sensitivity."

"Not even." She replied, inwardly agreeing with him in some ways. He _had_ gotten Jane, Thor and Erik to spend Christmas with them. He _had_ gone with her to delivery presents and made her breakfast. She was sure his own compliments towards her were a lie, but he _had_ made the effort to tell one in her favor anyway.

"Oh, and there's one more thing." He added, sitting up a little straighter.

Darcy had the covers swaddles around her shoulders, her glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. Her comfortable state became a little less so as Loki grew a serious look and leaned over the bedside to retrieve something from the floor.

Within a few seconds, Loki tossed a narrow box on the bed in front of her and gone back to watching the movie.

Darcy looked down and took the box in her hands, eyeing down the colorful green wrapping paper. "What is it?"

Loki rested a hand behind his head and another on his chest, his long legs crossing at the ankle. A feeling of completeness fell upon him. "The point of a Christmas _present_ is to open it and find out what exactly it is, Darcy Lewis."

Darcy stuck her tongue out at the smart-ass and tore away the paper. The box beneath was white and plain, but inside . . . "Socks?" Darcy took in the sight of the new socks. They were different shades of blue, Smurf character heads decorating them in a silly pattern. They were fuzzy and thick, perfect for lazy days during the winter. The soft material began to warm the palms of her hands and Darcy held them close.

"You lost your lucky socks so I thought—" Loki's explanation was cut short by a sudden weight to one side of his body.

"Thank you so much!" Darcy hugged the green eyed man with a new found joy. "I love them!"

Loki stiffened awkwardly. She was pressed against him, the feeling alien to him. Darcy was _hugging _him? That wasn't the type of reward he was anticipating. Maybe an apology or her admitting he was better than she had stated days before. That would mean she was wrong and he was right — as always. In order not to ruin his chances of getting what he wanted, Loki kept quiet. Once Darcy unlinked her arms from around him, he grinned in triumph. "A good sense of humor and amazing sensitivity?"

Darcy smiled and slid on her new socks. "Agreed. They're perfect." She sat back and wiggled her toes, her smile never fading.

"And my present?" Loki lifted a brow at her, turning his head in her direction.

"What are you talking about?" Darcy gave him look. "The hug _was_ your present." Loki held her eyes before cracking a smile and laughing lightly. She returned the laugh and opened the drawer to her nightstand. With a large smile, Darcy handed him a new T-shirt.

Loki unfolded the black item of clothing and chuckled at the picture of Gizmo from the movie _Gremlins_ across the front.

"Merry Christmas, Loki." Darcy said.

"Merry Christmas, Darcy." Loki replied.

* * *

A/N: **Bad ending? Good ending? Anyway! I was really happy I was able to get this up before Christmas. You guys have a good one and hopefully I'll get this next chapter up pretty soon! :) **

**I do not own.**


	7. Beats & Challenges

A/N: **Hey, guys! Okay, this is probably a legit one-shot. This has nothing to do with anything, just a short result out of pure boredom, I suppose. Please tell me what you think!**

**Quick PS: I haven't completely gone over this chapter a million times to make sure everything is perfect or flawless or whatever. I apologize now for any mistakes you may come across. I will be going over this again, I just really wanted to get this uploaded before I lost motivation to get it done.**

* * *

Beats & Challenges

* * *

"You're incredibly stupid."

Thor had his headphones propped comfortably over his ears, the sound of Midgardian music drowning out the voice of his adoptive brother sitting on the couch nearby. Through the small, circular speakers, the hip tune of Ellie Goulding's latest hit radiated through his veins in the form of a hip bump here and there while vacuuming. Quietly, Thor mumbled the words out under his breath while moving the vacuum along with the beat.

Loki, a flat expression across his face, watched as his brother made a fool of himself.

"He's the only one on the team that actually likes that singer." commented Tony, sitting on the neighboring couch with a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Thor's the only one of a lot of things." Loki drawled, sitting back and flipping over another five channels.

"Hey," Tony exclaimed, "Why do you always_ do_ that? Can't you just flip slowly and actually get a gist at what's going on in the show before you skip it again?"

"Don't tantalize me, Stark." The green eyed man replied, flipping past another channel. "You're eyes are just too slow."

Tony rolled his eyes then, taking another swig of beer. Just as he decided on what he would say to defend his vision, Thor powered down the vacuum and planted himself next to Loki, headphones dangling from around his broad neck. "Sorry about that, guys. Jane needed some chores done before we head out for New Year's."

"You're just a bitch-boy, it hurts." Tony snickered, lounging back with a smug grin.

Loki's brows lifted as if he agreed silently, but kept to flipping through TV channels.

Thor glared over at Tony, "I am not what you call a bitch-boy, Stark." He said sternly, "I simply do as I'm asked for the woman I love and adore."

Tony gave a short nod, looking to the ceiling to appear as if he were considering what Thor had said. Another swig of beer and he replied, "Right. A bitch-boy."

"You di—"

Loki cut in then, "What is this for? This channel. It's odd."

Tony and Thor looked to the screen, a video of dancing people playing while words were slowly highlights at the bottom. "Oh, that's the karaoke station."

"Karaoke?" Loki gave a look of disinterest. Before his thumb could press the forward arrow, Thor stopped him.

"Wait!" He smiled, "I know this song!" Loki felt the remote tugged out of his hand and rolled his eyes. _And here we go_, he thought. "'We Found Love' by that one woman! Jane has this on that one thing called a play-list."

Tony nodded, "Pretty popular song."

"What exactly is this channel for?" Loki asked flatly, his arms folded across his chest.

"You sing along with the words while the music plays. In actual karaoke games, whoever gets the most points wins." Tony answered, pulling out his phone to check for any messages from Pepper.

"So," Loki felt a small spark of interest arise. "It's a competition?"

Tony nodded distractedly, his thumbs flying across the touch screen keyboard. "Yeah, something like that."

Loki turned to Thor, still watching the screen of flashing lyrics. "You're pretty good at singing, Thor. But I'm sure Tony knows a thing or two more about the music from this realm. Do you think you'd even stand a chance against him in this so called karaoke game they play?"

Thor turned from the TV, brows squared, "What are you talking about, brother? Of course I'd win. I'm a god, for Odin's sake!"

"Ha!" Tony chuckled, now looking up while he slid his phone away. "You keep on believing that, mister high and mighty god."

Loki looked from one man to the other, ending his gaze at the TV screen. "I don't know, Thor. Tony seems pretty confident . . ."

"Damn right I am!" Tony declared, taking another taste of his beer.

Thor removed the headphones from around his neck and placed them on the coffee table in front of him. He ran his palms down his shirt to straighten himself out and then stood, a simple smile across his perfect lips. "Oh yeah, Stark? Why don't you prove it?"

Tony shook his head and set down his beer. After a brief pause, he stood abruptly, "You're on, bitch-boy."

Loki sat back, a silent grin of satisfaction forming. With a few simple clicks and Loki had turned the volume up to a higher level. "I don't know, guys. This seems like a pretty tough match."

Tony looked sharply at Loki, "Are you kidding me? I've got this in the bag."

Thor laughed coldly, "Sure about that, Stark? 'Cause you know, I'm pretty _hot_ and _dangerous_."

Tony's brows lifted, "You serious? I mean . . . _if you're one of us then roll with us_."

"Why would I want to do that," Thor clapped his hands together and spread his arms out wide, his lips in a pouty formation. "_When I make all the hipsters fall in lo-o-o-ove when I got hot-pants on_?"

"Oh, _of course you does_," Tony shook his hand out, implying Thor had it all wrong. "_But I'm runnin' this town just like a club_. _And you really don't wanna mess with me_ — _got Odin on my necklace_!"

Loki watched as Thor wiggled his fingers in front of his eyes, "_Got that glitter on my eyes_!"

Tony slammed his foot on the coffee table, angling his body so the side of his thigh was highlighted most. While running a palm up the part of his body, he replied, "_Stockings ripped all up the side_!"

Thor didn't let he gesture faze him and went at it with a hair flip, the long blonde locks flowing effortlessly. "_Looking sick and sexy-fied_!"

Tony shook his head, the challenge definitely on. He took his foot off the coffee table and edged it out of the way, the two men meeting halfway in front of the television face-to-face. "_So let's go-oh-oh_! Let's go!"

With a snap of one mischievous god's fingers, the song changed.

"_Hey, hey_! _You, you_!" Thor recited, his head cocking to the side slightly, "_I don't like your girlfriend_!"

Tony put his hands on his hips, "_No way_! _No way_! _I think you need a new one_!"

Thor poked a finger hard into Tony's chest. "_Hey, hey_! _You, you_! _I could be your girlfriend_!"

His turn and Tony nudged an elbow into Thor's chest, "_Hey, hey_! _You, you_! _I know that you like me_!"

"_No way_! _No way_!" Thor glared, "_I know it's not a secret_!"

Tony felt the sting as Thor knocked him one to the head, his chest puffed out as a dare for Tony to return the blow. "_Hey, hey! You, you! I want to be your girlfriend_!" Tony continued, shoving Thor back roughly.

Loki held back his laughter, the song changing once again.

"_UNGH_!" Thor growled at the push's force, "_Hey! Boy, you never had much game. Thought I needed to upgrade_," He shrugged, "_So I went and walked away-way-way_ . . ."

Tony stumbled back due to a returning shove from Thor. "UNGH!" He balanced and shouted back, "_Now, I seen you been hanging out with that other girl in town_!" He grinned, "_Looking like a pair of clowns-clowns-clowns_ . . ."

A punch to the gut and Thor groaned, "_UNGH_!"

As the song continued on, both men battling it out to the next physical blow, Loki found he had grown tired of the same tune and changed it once again. The TV now had little to do with what was happening in reality.

The music in the atmosphere suddenly slowed, Thor and Tony exchanging a confused expression before Tony began singing along with the chorus of something different. The game wasn't over yet. "_You're so gay and you don't even like boys_."

Thor gave him an angry look, "_No, you don't even like boys_."

Tony smirked coyly, his hands on his hips once more. "_You're so gay and you don't even like boys_!"

Loki looked from one Avenger to the other, his brows lifted in amusement. Another snap and the beat changed, something slow yet catchy.

Thor ran his hair back through his fingers and licked his lips, the music moving through his steadily. "_You've been waiting so long; I'm here to answer your calls_." He drew in closer to Tony, "_I know that I shouldn't have had you waiting at all_." Thor shrugged a shoulder, a playful smile blooming, "_I've been so busy, but I've been thinking 'bout what I wanna do with you-u-u_." He began dancing then, his hips moving smoothly against the air as his torso muscles flexed beneath his shirt.

Tony saw the gambling look in Thor's eyes and stripped the shirt from his own body. Blue light glowing madly, Tony smirked smugly, his point range doubling from Thor's. "_I know them other guys — they've been talking 'bout the way I do what I do_." He circled around to the other side of Thor, invading the man's space with oblivious arrogance. "_They heard I was good, they wanna see if it's true. They know you're the one I wanna give it to_ . . ." Tony walked back with his arms spread wide, moving his head to the beat and testing Thor to defy his skills. "_I can see you want me too_ — _now it's me and you_!"

Thor revolved his hips, his hands snaking their way down to his belt buckle where he slowly began undoing the binding item. "_It's me and you now, I've been waitin'_." He slid the belt from the hoops, "_Think I'm gonna make that move now_." He snapped the leather, "_Baby, tell me if you like it_."

Tony watched, unbelieving. The bastard! Taking charge once again, he recited along, "_It's me and you now_," He put a hand to the back of his and the other outstretched with an index finger pointed towards Thor. "_I've been waitin'_— _think I'm gonna make that move now_! _Baby, tell me if you like it_."

Loki, remaining in his watch from the couch, had grown uncomfortable with the song round. He hadn't seen two men interact in those ways since the homosexual special on TV a few nights previous. With a simple blink, the song changed once again.

To begin, there was a quiet woman's voice echoing through the living room of Thor and Jane's household. Tony had a brow raised skeptically, not quite finished with his task in declaring himself better than Thor in that of karaoke — if anyone could call it that any longer.

Thor was looking up and around, his veins pumping with adrenaline. The anticipation was beginning to drive him mad when Loki finally spoke up.

"I told you, Thor." He smiled pleasantly, "A game challenge between you and Tony — and anything could happen."

A voice erupted, Tony's. He was standing on the coffee table, fist in the air while his head faced downward. Thor's eyes narrowed and he nudged Tony out of the way slightly to put himself at the Iron Man's side, not presuming to be left unnoticed at a lower level. Tony glanced over, "_I know it's gonna be_—"

"_I know it's gonna be_—" Thor put his own fist in the air, sweat beaded across his brow.

"_You know it's gonna be_?"

"_You know it's gonna be_!"

Lights flashed suddenly, shooting from an unknown location across the room and over the bodies of the men standing upon the small table. Different colors ejected from all around — pinks, blues, greens, purples. It sent a shock of waves through the air as did the high speed music, its base pumping like a rapid heart.

"ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!" They shouted in sync, their dance moves coordinated quickly after.

Loki laughed, his control over their willpower becoming bluntly obvious. He continued laughing as he watched, his stomach beginning to hurt just from the sight of two 'heroes' battling it out in none other than a dance-off. TV couldn't compare.

"What the hell is going on?!"

The lights and music died sharply, all attention moving toward the front door where Jane stood with grocery bags.

"Oh, shit." Tony whispered, he and Thor frozen mid-dance move.

"Uh," Thor swallowed shakily, "Hey, Jane."

Jane looked at them, completely beguiled. Seconds of silence and she dropped a bag to the floor, Tony and Thor following after in a tumble to the floor out of complete exhaustion. "Unbelievable." She said under her breath, shaking her head. "Completely unbelievable."

Where Loki had sat, was now nothing but empty space.

* * *

**List of songs used in order:**

**"We R Who We R" - Ke$ha **

**"Girlfriend" Avril Lavigne**

**"Want You Back" Cher Lloyd**

**"You're So Gay" Katy Perry**

**"You & Me" Cassie**

**"Anything Could Happen" Ellie Goulding**

**[I own none of these, obviously.]  
**


	8. Dating & Advice

A/N: **Okay, guys, another chapter for you! I hope you enjoy this one. It isn't very long, and there is a specific reason for that. I really wanted to get this up and uploaded because I have other stories I'm planning on updating today. The next chapter that follows after this will be started today. I'm not sure whether it will be completed today or not, but hopefully soon. :)**

**Sorry for any grammar mistakes any of you may come across. I'm typing like no tomorrow right now to get as many things done as possible. Haha. Bare with me! I'll definitely be reading it over later.**

* * *

Dating & Advice

* * *

"I've decided to start dating!"

Everyone at the table looked up—including Loki. Though, no one could exactly_ see_ him. He made himself invisible to the human eye, pleased with sitting in the back of the room unnoticed as he ease-dropped on the great and mighty Avengers—minus Thor, who was currently taking Yoga classes with Jane—while they sat and chatted over a nice afternoon meal. He didn't have anything better to do and when Steve Rogers had busted in the room declaring what he had, Loki was happy with the way he chose to spend his time.

What an uproarious concept: _dating_.

Loki had never understood. During his time on the Midgard, though it was short, he had never seen the hype over such a stupid thing. What was the point in it all? He figured it had to do with the simple fact many found sexual intercourse pleasuring—but while plotting to take over another planet, controlling an army and taking down a team of super freaks, who had the time to think about fornication?

"You . . . what?" Tony Stark was the first to speak, sitting beside Pepper with his arm draped over her shoulder casually.

Steve had a large smile across his face, one of excitement and happiness. "I've decided to start dating!"

Bruce choked on his salad a bit and tried to cough it off. "That's wonderful, Steve."

"Oh, yeah, definitely," Tony said, doubtful. "Through a guy who's been frozen for over a few decades—give or take—and then throw him into the dating world of the twenty-first century. That ought to work out just _swell_."

Natasha grew a small smile, fighting back a laugh.

Clint snickered, "You never know, Tony. Maybe he'll get someone nice."

Pepper smiled kindly at Steve, "I think it's a wonderful idea, Steve. You're plenty handsome, as it is." Tony looked over at Pepper with his brows raised high. Blinking as if highly offended, he removed is arm from around her shoulders and turned his attention to his lunch. Pepper looked over at him and rolled her eyes, "You're such a baby."

Steve's brows creased in slight confusion. He took a seat among the rest of them and said, "Well, I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, it can't be that hard . . . can it?"

Clint shook his head, "If you look in the right places it isn't hard at all." He smirked and took a bite out of his sandwich before saying, "I know this great strip club—"

Natasha slapped Clint's arm.

"That's horrible, Clint!" Steve's eyes widened, "I saw a report on the news about a lovely young lady who'd been butchered alive at one of those places! It was awful. And worse? The murderer didn't even have the decency to return her clothes!"

Once again, Bruce choked on his salad.

"Like she was wearing any to begin with . . ." muttered Clint, taking a big bite of his sandwich.

Natasha swatted at his arm. Again.

"Look, Steve," Tony spoke up, his voice even with suggestion. "Maybe you should get some advice on the topic first. Alright? Girls in this generation—for the past few generations—are different. Extremely different. I think it would be wise to get a feel at what you'll be getting yourself into."

Steve nodded, "Yeah, I guess you're right about that one."

* * *

The next day, Loki had decided to pop in on the little Captain Goody-Two-Shoes to see how his research on the female population and dating was going. He found Steve on his way up to see Clint Barton, currently working on beating his high score on yet another video game. Steve knocked a few times before getting the clear to come in.

"Oh, hey, Rogers." Clint acknowledged him flatly and continued on with his gaming. "What's up?"

"Well," Steve began, "I was thinking about the whole dating thing and how would I make a move—you know, in this time period?"

Loki looked from one man to the other, Clint still looking unfocused on their conversation as ever. However, Steve looked utterly hopeful. It was sickening, really. Out of everyone and Steve had chosen this Avenger to aid him in his quest for a romantic relationship with the opposite sex? Loki sighed. He supposed Clint was better than Bruce, anyhow.

"You just make a move. Just go for it." Clint answered simply.

Steve shifted his weight from one foot to the next, unsure. "But what if she isn't interested?"

Clint paused his game and looked up at Steve from his place on the sofa, "Look, it can either go one of two ways. She either wants you or she doesn't. Though, sometimes, it takes a little convincing. You know what I mean?"

Steve smiled, and then frowned. " . . . no."

"If you think she's worth taking another shot at then do a little more to flirt her up, you know? Flatter her or strike up a conversation about puppies or something. Bitches love puppies."

As Loki followed Steve out the door and into the hall, completely unnoticed, he couldn't deny that there was a look of horror across Steve Rogers' face. Suddenly, Steve headed toward Stark's office. Loki followed with interest. What could Stark possible have to say?

"Hey, Steve, how's it?" Tony greeted as Steve entered the office.

"I was going to ask your advice about something." Steve said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Oh yeah?" Tony leaned back in his office chair, "About what?"

Steve swallowed loud enough for Loki to hear, "If I were going out on a date or to meet someone . . . what should I wear?"

Tony laughed, "Are you really asking me?"

Steve nodded, but remained quiet.

"Well," Tony chewed on the end of a pen and shrugged a shoulder, "Wear something casual, yet charming."

"Casual . . . yet charming?" Steve scratched the back of his neck.

"Yeah, just throw on some nice jeans a nice shirt and you're good. Spritz a little cologne, too. Some ladies really like that. Oh," Tony pointed a finger at him, "And don't comb your hair like a dork, either."

Steve touched the top of his head, slightly offended. "Thanks, I guess." He turned to leave the room, Loki following behind.

"Don't wear over-dressed shoes, either, Rogers!" Tony called from his desk before the door shut.

As Loki feared, Steve headed straight for Bruce next.

"You want me to tell you what?" Bruce looked bewildered, his glasses propped up on his nose.

Steve explained, "How do you deliver a pleasurable kiss to a woman? I mean, I've kissed a woman before—but just once. And what if women nowadays expect a little more? I strongly disbelief in sex on the first date, but I hear Tony talking about tongue action all the time and—"

Bruce held up a hand, "Just stop. Please."

"Are you going to give me advice?" Steve asked.

Bruce sighed, "I haven't had experience with a woman in a while, Steve. I think you might be asking the wrong guy."

"I asked Clint and Tony about other things—but I rather not ask about _this_ to either of them." Steve shook his head, "I'm too afraid of the answers I might receive in return."

"Well, I can't blame you there." Bruce chuckled lightly. "Look, Steve, kissing women nowadays isn't much different than back then. Yeah, things might escalate a little quicker, but just put your feelings into it. Do you understand what I mean?"

Steve smiled, "Yeah, I think so."

Bruce patted him on the shoulder, "Good luck."

Loki was slightly shocked. Bruce actually had some decent advice. Granted, it could have been better, but it wasn't as vile as the other male members of this superhero squad.

"Hey, Thor!"

Loki was brought back to attention at the sound of Steve's voice, calling out to the blonde man making his way down the hall. In yoga pants.

"Steve, hello!" Thor said with a smile.

"I actually have something to ask you!" Steve said, his tone in its usual friendliness.

Thor lifted a brow, "Oh? Is it something I can help with?"

"Hopefully." Steve said, "If you were going to take a girl out on a date, where would you take her?" Loki folded his arms across his chest, curious as to what Thor would answer with.

"Well," Thor grew a serious thinking expression for a moment before answering, "I think on a date with a woman I quite enjoyed, I'd take her out to do something fun. Nothing boring—like dinner."

Loki chuckled. Ironic.

Thor smirked, "Take her somewhere she'll never forget."

Steve smiled thankfully, "Thanks, Thor!"

* * *

A/N: **This kind of ended on an odd note. I understand that. It kind of irks me, too. However, it will work along fine with what I have in store for the next chapter. Let me know what you thought :)**


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